absolute shambles 

British slang meaning nonsense, hogwash, etc.

The Leicester City FC soccer player, Jamie Vardy, considered the fact that the team's manager got fired after a loss as absolute shambles.

absolute shambles by Light_Soul March 26, 2017

absolute shambles 

The penultimate form of shambles (which could be foreseen by any five year old), caused by the ineptitude of so-called management failing to understand how the job is really done. Sacking all the administrative staff at once will result in an absolute shambles.

The management team thought it was an excellent idea to sack everyone in the administrative grade: "look how much money we will save, aren't we such clever boys and girls!"
The result was of course an absolute shambles because no real work could be done. It was a far bigger shambles than had been created in the past.

absolute shambles by MoLincs November 28, 2011

absolute fucking shambles

The ultimate form of shambles as might be created by an uber-shambles: best demonstrated when minor clerical and administrative duties have to be undertaken by professional staff in the alleged interests of 'saving money' which in fact does no such thing, but can be pointed to by those who equate change with progress, thus claiming credit for the latter.

The essential work of an organisation isn't done because trivial but necessary work is taking up the time which ought to be used to do the job for which professionals are really employed. Objection is met with a simplistic replies such as 'it only takes a moment', "do you regard it as beneath you", or 'any fool could do that'.

Further, any 8 year old could spot this was a particularly stupid way of doing things.

Loo rolls need changing: could a computer analyst do it? Then a computer analyst shall do it! Everyone including the janitors agreed this created an absolute fucking shambles as senior analysts spent time hunting for wherever loo rolls were stored, but the office manager thought it was an ace idea and claimed an end-of year bonus.

absolute fucking shambles by MoLincs September 12, 2012

absolute fucking shambles

A phrase commonly used to describe a terribly organised event.

Josh: Did you go to that curry night Conor organised?
Ciaran: Yeh, it was an absolute fucking shambles!

absolute fucking shambles by Shambolic Badger September 12, 2017