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A Cuban Missile 

It's like scissoring for lesbians but with a man and woman. While in the scissor position the man aligns his anus with the woman's vaginal opening and proceeds to excrete a firm fecal log inside said woman's venereal cavity.

Variant: Same as above but with the misfortune of unexpected diarrhea. Known throughout Europe as "The French Mistake".

Used in a sentence: Dr.! How the hell are we going to get that Cuban Missile out of Hilary?

*WARNING* Probable felony if recipient is passed out or otherwise unconscious.
A Cuban Missile by Ramsey Dikken December 6, 2013

A Cuban Missile Crisis 

When an individual leads his cohorts to believe that his penis is massive in size, although, in actuality, it resembles an enlarged clitoris. The cohorts usually end up feeling sexually threatened.
Person 1: "Hey, did you hear that Jim's dick is 8 and a half inches long?"
Person 2: "No, that's just a Cuban Missile Crisis, his ex-girlfriend told me."

cutting a cuban 

It's like cutting a cigar, but Cutting a Cuban is a one wiper upon completion

Bro I was just in the bathroom and I was Cutting a Cuban. One wipe and goodnight dude!
cutting a cuban by Brosephguay February 22, 2018

Pulling a Cuban 

The act of one needing to go to the hospital via ambulance due to the consumption of copious amounts of alcohol.
Person 1: Dude what happened last night?!

Person 2: You were Pulling a Cuban and we had to take you to the hospital
Pulling a Cuban by lohj July 8, 2012

smoke you like a cuban cigar

A process where one individual would do serious damage to another. Then, said individual states, "Man, i will smoke you like a cuban cigar!"
After one person, would be "pwned", the person who administered the "pwnage" would state that he smoked the "pwned" individual like a cuban cigar

Smoking a Cuban 

Oral stimulation of the penis coupled with the use of both hands.
Origin: Laura's demonstration on how to smoke a Cuban cigar.
"Have you had your Cuban smoked lately?"

"Hey darlin'! Smoke my Cuban"

"If you'll be smoking a Cuban tonight, I'll let you watch Corri"