When an individual leads his cohorts to believe that his penis is massive in size, although, in actuality, it resembles an enlarged clitoris. The cohorts usually end up feeling sexually threatened.
Person 1: "Hey, did you hear that Jim's dick is 8 and a half inches long?"
Person 2: "No, that's just a Cuban Missile Crisis, his ex-girlfriend told me."
by ProtoZone February 27, 2011
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when you realize the hot Latina you're about to fuck may in fact have a dick
i had to deal with a cuban missile crisis after we left the bar and sofia got a hard on.
by Porkrhind December 21, 2016
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When you want to have a circle jerk, but you only have two participants. Tensions mount as the two males face each other and begin to masturbate, waiting to see who will shoot first. Bonus points are awarded if one of them has a cigar.
I was bored the other day, so I asked my roommate if he was up for a game of Cuban Missile Crisis.
by Kmac46 December 01, 2006
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The sudden and extreme need to defecate brought on by the nicotine in a strong cigar. This is an instantaneous and unavoidable date with the porcelain throne.
Darrin suddenly jumped up and yelled "Cuban Missile Crisis" as he raced for the bathroom.
by Herfmaster March 22, 2013
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This is a very specific situation when you are in a meeting at work with just one too many cups of coffee. You need to get out of there but don’t know what to do.
Jimbo, my man, they called a meeting just after my second pot of coffee. It was a brutal two hours. I was sweating the whole time and a little even came out on the drawers. You’ve been there. It was the classic case of The Cuban Missile Crisis! Fuck
by Larry and Rex and Benny September 26, 2018
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1) When Elian Gonzalez's family ran out of things to throw at the cops.

2) When the USA under JFK narrowly avoided an eldritch rendezvous with destiny.
Oh, no!!! Not another Cuban Missile Crisis!!!
by Fearman August 30, 2007
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