Zoom broom
Eliminating the background distractions.
“Denise,” went the text from my boss last Sunday, “when we do the meetup with Amway could you please do a zoom broom on your so-called office -- jettison the vibrators, the pogo stick, the pink silk thingie hanging just on screen. The signed blowup of Bono from ’98 too. We don’t want Chris to think we’re wack. Oh, and could you make sure that snot-nosed Berry doesn’t poke her face in?”
“Shithead,” I replied under my breath, “It’s not Zoom, it’s WebEx. It's not Berry, it's Valley. Plus, I only accept texted managerial counsel of under 10 words.”
To prep for the interview (for the job he didn’t even want, but it would pay for tacos) Panda did a quick zoom broom in the study he “shared” with mama, backlighting the Mac and taking down the hanging hooked rug depicting a bald eagle descending upon a Hudson River ice floe. Darn these Zoom gigs, he thought, feeling pretty sure he’d have to shave his soul patch.
“Shithead,” I replied under my breath, “It’s not Zoom, it’s WebEx. It's not Berry, it's Valley. Plus, I only accept texted managerial counsel of under 10 words.”
To prep for the interview (for the job he didn’t even want, but it would pay for tacos) Panda did a quick zoom broom in the study he “shared” with mama, backlighting the Mac and taking down the hanging hooked rug depicting a bald eagle descending upon a Hudson River ice floe. Darn these Zoom gigs, he thought, feeling pretty sure he’d have to shave his soul patch.
Zoom broom by Hifalutin! February 5, 2022
