Jumped out of the Town Car and tripped onto the red carpet, bulbs flashing, "Leo! Leo!"--sheeeit, forgot my mask! I'll look like a tool in Star. Third time today. All that primo Jack Herer weed doesn't help.
"We need snow bomb provisions," Tron nagged me. But I had to drive home without the requested t.p., soy milk, Heineken Zero or Gerber peas, and got seriously spanked. Sheeeit, forgot my mask! Again!
"We need snow bomb provisions," Tron nagged me. But I had to drive home without the requested t.p., soy milk, Heineken Zero or Gerber peas, and got seriously spanked. Sheeeit, forgot my mask! Again!
by Hifalutin! February 06, 2022
“Welcome,” Panda told Reen, whose watch cap was frosted over with sleet. “Take The Good Chair.” It was mama’s, and lumpy, but had a 'seasonal view' of the Palisades. And mama was out at the live chicken mart.
“I call it!” says Tiger Cub, jumping up and down and further soiling the upholstery with her muddy Vans.
“Get down this minute,” thunders NancyLee. “Grandmaw wouldn’t want you all up in The Good Chair, would she! Now, or you’re gonna get a whupping!”
“I call it!” says Tiger Cub, jumping up and down and further soiling the upholstery with her muddy Vans.
“Get down this minute,” thunders NancyLee. “Grandmaw wouldn’t want you all up in The Good Chair, would she! Now, or you’re gonna get a whupping!”
by Hifalutin! February 18, 2022
“I look into his eyes and see vast oceans,” says Panda. “It’s like an amazing, endless stomach ache. I can’t sleep. It is truly The Sauce.”
“Sounds like J.M.W. Turner and a case of indigestion,” grumbles Mouse, a virtual stranger to losing his head over womxn – well there was the sprite back in Fresh Air Fund camp, but that was only a preteen fantasy. You be safe now.”
64-year-old Maggie has embarked on a virtual quest for a young stud. In 90 days, she has connected with a dozen guys on eHarmony and all of them say they are ready for an adventure with an older woman, particularly a "well-stocked lady" such as herself who wants to “spoil a guy”. Too bad because what Maggie secretly longs for is The Sauce.
“Sounds like J.M.W. Turner and a case of indigestion,” grumbles Mouse, a virtual stranger to losing his head over womxn – well there was the sprite back in Fresh Air Fund camp, but that was only a preteen fantasy. You be safe now.”
64-year-old Maggie has embarked on a virtual quest for a young stud. In 90 days, she has connected with a dozen guys on eHarmony and all of them say they are ready for an adventure with an older woman, particularly a "well-stocked lady" such as herself who wants to “spoil a guy”. Too bad because what Maggie secretly longs for is The Sauce.
by Hifalutin! March 09, 2022
“Our rendezscrew at Chute Jean-Larose was dope,” says Anne. “We could barely stand afterward.”
“Wow,” said Lloyd. The waterfall was a famous aphrodisiac, he knew, though he was too shy to perpetrate such a romp himself.
“Lucky we stopped afterward at the Basilica of Sainte-Anne-de-Beaupre,” Anne brags further. “We snitched some thrown-off crutches to use in limping home.”
“It’s a miracle you survived,” Lloyd deadpans punnily. “Live to fuck another day.”
“Wow,” said Lloyd. The waterfall was a famous aphrodisiac, he knew, though he was too shy to perpetrate such a romp himself.
“Lucky we stopped afterward at the Basilica of Sainte-Anne-de-Beaupre,” Anne brags further. “We snitched some thrown-off crutches to use in limping home.”
“It’s a miracle you survived,” Lloyd deadpans punnily. “Live to fuck another day.”
by Hifalutin! February 11, 2022
Place of quarantine.
Mephistopholes remained in his hunkerdown for the rest of the pandemic, emerging only for gingerale, The Wall Street Journal and smoke.
Refusing to go to ground in a hunkerdown, brave Bettina kept her janitorial job at Lincoln Center--which was much easier now that all performances were remote. "My, my," she said later in an oral history of The Covid Time. "Fat cats didn't know if they were coming or going--if I paid 250 a ticket, I'd sure show up for the symphony."
Refusing to go to ground in a hunkerdown, brave Bettina kept her janitorial job at Lincoln Center--which was much easier now that all performances were remote. "My, my," she said later in an oral history of The Covid Time. "Fat cats didn't know if they were coming or going--if I paid 250 a ticket, I'd sure show up for the symphony."
by Hifalutin! February 10, 2022
It’s not at all okay, but the expression comes in handy when it is socially expedient to give reassurance. Interchangeable with No worries.
The tornado wrecked your house, you suffered a mild concussion and three broken ribs, the dog is missing, and you’re on the phone with your hysterically worried mom. “S’all good, you know, mom, s'all good. We’re all alive, praise God, that’s what counts.”
You come home to find your wife fellating your best friend, a relationship you suspected but didn’t want to confront your beloved about for fear she would get mad and divorce you. You were always a wimp. “S’all good, s’all good,” you say as you tiptoe back out of the bedroom. “No worries. See you later, hon.”
You come home to find your wife fellating your best friend, a relationship you suspected but didn’t want to confront your beloved about for fear she would get mad and divorce you. You were always a wimp. “S’all good, s’all good,” you say as you tiptoe back out of the bedroom. “No worries. See you later, hon.”
by Hifalutin! February 14, 2022
"It was minuscule, the amount we wanted for doing Hamburger Harry's on-line promo," p.r. flack Mindee told her livid boss, "but the chain's point-guy said that they were simply ask-less for now."
"I'll crunch the numbers for you," Felix said in the two minutes he was given with the football giant. "You Venmo us 40 million and we will stamp your name and number on Apple pencils for distribution to every football news jock in the country."
"Numbskull," cautioned the legend smoothly, wondering which of his gatekeepers had let Felix through. "It's not that I'm ask-less, but go elsewhere to peddle your shlock. I'm Peyton Manning."
"I'll crunch the numbers for you," Felix said in the two minutes he was given with the football giant. "You Venmo us 40 million and we will stamp your name and number on Apple pencils for distribution to every football news jock in the country."
"Numbskull," cautioned the legend smoothly, wondering which of his gatekeepers had let Felix through. "It's not that I'm ask-less, but go elsewhere to peddle your shlock. I'm Peyton Manning."
by Hifalutin! February 10, 2022