Hifalutin!'s definitions
“Awww,” says Panda. “Surely I qualify for pandemic props. I sang Yankee Doodle while scrubbing my hands, I sanitized all the Amazon packages, I traded my handmade cloth mask for a KN95, I swore off the multiplex, I barricaded my door…”
“Yes, Good One,” says Mouse. “You were virtuous. But you only baked bread that one time, and you didn’t master the technique Francaise.”
“Mama always bakes the paratha!” protests Panda. “You know that.”
"Maybe when the next SARS rolls around," says Mouse, "you'll have your opportunity to shine."
“Yes, Good One,” says Mouse. “You were virtuous. But you only baked bread that one time, and you didn’t master the technique Francaise.”
“Mama always bakes the paratha!” protests Panda. “You know that.”
"Maybe when the next SARS rolls around," says Mouse, "you'll have your opportunity to shine."
by Hifalutin! March 6, 2022
Get the pandemic propsmug. “I actually prefer the spindrone,” Nur confessed to Azalea, wiping the sweat from their brow then sanitizing their glutes. “I have less to answer for when I can’t manage the tap back.”
“Right,” said Azalea, who wasn’t sure she agreed. “And the spindrone doesn’t mind if you switch off Find U Again for Bennie and the Jets?”
“Mr. Garcia,” pipes in the peon from the Club’s front desk. “There’s a new spindrone here to see you about the MWF noon slot. I offered it water but it said hydration would be unnecessary.
“Good!” chortles the club manager, unknotting the noose he had only just constructed for himself out of locker room towels, “Finally an instructor who’s not a drama queen.”
“Right,” said Azalea, who wasn’t sure she agreed. “And the spindrone doesn’t mind if you switch off Find U Again for Bennie and the Jets?”
“Mr. Garcia,” pipes in the peon from the Club’s front desk. “There’s a new spindrone here to see you about the MWF noon slot. I offered it water but it said hydration would be unnecessary.
“Good!” chortles the club manager, unknotting the noose he had only just constructed for himself out of locker room towels, “Finally an instructor who’s not a drama queen.”
by Hifalutin! February 6, 2022
Get the Spindronemug. “Everything is absolutely cuppacetic,” swoons Cubby to au pair Natasha from the second Starbucks on the block, his IPhone engrimed with chocochip-scone crumbs. “I’m dead wired on triple green molto frappes. Be home in a few, put Jacob to bed—ta-ta!”
“Cuppacetic!” said Rune, his mania aflame. “I love this place!”
“Get your hand out of my sweater and quaff your quad, you dirty hound,” was the only retort that came to Mamie’s mind.
“Cuppacetic!” said Rune, his mania aflame. “I love this place!”
“Get your hand out of my sweater and quaff your quad, you dirty hound,” was the only retort that came to Mamie’s mind.
by Hifalutin! February 6, 2022
Get the Cuppaceticmug. “Show your belly,” Josefa advises Cheyenne. “Your boss sucks prunes, and that won’t change. Make her think you’re weak and she won’t know what hit her later.”
“But I’m scared,” says Cheyenne. “Who knows what will happen.”
“You will fool her,” reassures Josefa. “You are boss. In showing your belly you will fend off her attack. Go forth and prosper, as some guy said.”
“But I’m scared,” says Cheyenne. “Who knows what will happen.”
“You will fool her,” reassures Josefa. “You are boss. In showing your belly you will fend off her attack. Go forth and prosper, as some guy said.”
by Hifalutin! February 14, 2022
Get the show your bellymug. "Later, Joseph would recall not only the hardships but the small things, the lollipops and mask smiles."
"I used to like flying until it became all slip n sips and mask smiles."
"I used to like flying until it became all slip n sips and mask smiles."
by Hifalutin! January 28, 2022
Get the mask smilesmug. “I hated all those bleeping webinars,” snaps Micro, “and the boss would always check the Zoom chat to see who actively attended. Now I beg off with The Big Excuse, saying it’s long-haul and I’m too foggy to grok what’s going on. She was sensitive about it. Ha!”
“Swim meets always drove me bonkers,” says Bailey. “But Cypress cried if I didn’t go – until I duped her with The Big Excuse, saying that mommies who’d had Delta had to stay home and rest, and nanny Martha could support a little princess’s backstroke just fine.”
“Swim meets always drove me bonkers,” says Bailey. “But Cypress cried if I didn’t go – until I duped her with The Big Excuse, saying that mommies who’d had Delta had to stay home and rest, and nanny Martha could support a little princess’s backstroke just fine.”
by Hifalutin! February 5, 2022
Get the The Big Excusemug. “You should have seen it,” Belinda tells Jack when he picks her up at Sky Harbor. “This douche bag couldn't load Frida and threw a tantrum, ripping off his mask, throwing his phone and storming against the flight attendant.”
“That’s AA Ventertainment!” says Jack blithely. “It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. Oh,” he adds. “Were there casualties?”
“That’s AA Ventertainment!” says Jack blithely. “It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. Oh,” he adds. “Were there casualties?”
by Hifalutin! February 6, 2022
Get the AA Ventertainmentmug.