Topman Whore 

A stupid naïve manwhore who has just discovered fashion and has longish shaggy hair, wear an over sized beanie that looks like a giant's scrotum warmer, cardigan, perhaps a multicoloured if they are feeling a bit daring; stretched across their skinny chests are the 16 pound t-shirts with multicoloured prints, legs are covered with some spray-on jeans and to finish it all off, some pointy plimsolls, which appear to be the latest Topman orgasm.

Peeping inbetween the plimsolls and skinny jeans are colourful socks, with childish designs on them that cost the fucking Earth.

Their jeans are pulled so low so that we are able to "admire" their Topman boxers and all can see. Some topman whores even bend down to flaunt their boxers. Oh so pathetic.

To keep warm, the average topman whore wears one of the 20 pound hoodies Topman offers in a selection of colours with pretty designs in the hood. Of course, every topman whore has every colour and so Topman whores have to check with their Topman whore companions as to which colour they should wear that day, as not to appear unoriginal.

*2 Friends browsing in Topman*

Friend A: Oh wow, these are actually reasonably priced! That's a first for Topman.

Friend B: Hm these colours look pretty good together.

Friend A: Fuck it, I'll get 2 and save the rest of my money.

*looks for Medium*

Friend A: WTF they are all L, XL or XXL?!! Where are the other sizes?

Friend B: Looks like the Topman whores got there before.

*Both friends turn round and give evils at the Topman whores at the entrance, identically dressed*

Both: Grrr

Topman Whore by Indigolynx October 27, 2008