Three-eyed Turtle 

Appeared in a 70's issue of National Lampoon describing a sex act involving a train situation - synonymous with "airtight" - one weenie in each of a woman's three orifices - oral, genital, and anal.

Jessica tried the French Kayak with the baseball team, but it was not as fulfilling as the Three-eyed Turtle.

Three-eyed Turtle by Rveil July 19, 2004

Three-eyed turtle 

Oral, vaginal, or anal intercourse where only the tip of the penis penetrates the female.

Her: "What the fuck are you doing down there?! Fuck me already!"
Him: "It's called the three-eyed turtle and I won't fuck you until you beg for it."

Three-eyed turtle by Picklebottom August 16, 2014

three eyed turtle

verb. A sex act involving a limber woman. Where the woman spreads her legs and grabs her ankles. Oral, Vaganal, and Anal sex ensue, in THAT order. No ATM here.

Dude! I found a hot little gymnast who's so horny she's willing to do a Three Eyed Turtle!

three eyed turtle by cog January 19, 2005

Three Eyed Turtle

a synonym for titty fucking.

I gave Cindy a three eyed turtled and then nutted in her eye.

Three Eyed Turtle by Lil' Dilly August 17, 2006

Three Eyed Turtle

Ingredients: One cutting knife, One cucumber, One red Dixie cup, One Gallapagose Turtle, and One willing woman. Begin by placing the cucumber in the woman's butt and cut the cucumber which gently sliding it out of the booty and place the cucumber slices on the turtle. Proceed to have sex with the woman. When the point of climax is reached, pull out and "jizz" into the Dixie cup. For the finale, throw the semen on the turtle, pick the turtle up, and bust the woman over the face with it. Truly an all time fantasy fulfiller...

Gregory performed the Three Eyed Turtle on me last night and it was jizztastic! I hope I have bruises for the next year!

Three Eyed Turtle by Big Dizzle December 16, 2004

Three Eyed Turtle

When you insert you penis and both balls into a womans vagina. Since you cannot thrust in and out you just kind of wiggle around until the woman is about to cum. Just before the woman cums you pull out and shove a rolled-up phone book (yellow pages are preferred) into her vagina as she cums.

Bob bring a phone book over so we can Three Eyed Turtle Ginny later.

Three Eyed Turtle by Rusty Rust March 12, 2010