Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch 

The chicken sandwich from Burger King with a catchy ass commercial song. The commercial is one of the best this century with a set of characters.

Cowboy singer - Darrius Rucker or 'Hootie' from Hootie and the Blowfish. He had the genius to make this commercial, putting all his pride aside. Purple cowboy suit and use of the word 'Jonesin' are equally hilarious.

Hot girl picking sandwiches - She appears during the lyrics, "the breasts, they grow on trees." So obviously she's a porn star, or the ranch whore.

Ranch dressing girls - they have the ranch buckets but I think they're implying something else with their licking.

Caboose girl - Vida Guerra. It says so on her booty shorts. Very well placed, she's got a caboose and she's riding a caboose. Oh the parallelism. (How drunk were the advertising people?)

Twin black cowboys - As you can see, they're resting from a hard day's work. No, not work on the ranch, work from banging all the girls ON the ranch. And now they're "veggin all day". So this appeals to all the men who form a bit of an appetite after boning.

Swing girl - Brooke Burke. What the fuck is Brooke Burke doing on a swing? And the annoying "coooome aaaand get it" ruins the commercial. At least the long version got it right. She's there on a swing without talking.

Burger King king - Yes he's the creepiest thing on the planet. But he picked the best place in the commercial. You know why he's pushing Brooke Burke on a swing. Oh yeah.

Some more things on this commercial. The cheddar paves the streets, money falls from the sky for some reason, you can see the scary chicken thing from that subservient chicken website.

*Caution* this commercial is extremely fucking catchy. Do not watch more than twice a day!

Damn! During the commercial break, I saw the Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch commercial 5 times! I feel uncomfortable now...

Tender Crisp Bacon Cheddar Ranch by nathan March 29, 2005