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telescope

One of many euphemistic terms for a penis. Most famously used in this context in the Big Bang Theory episode, "The Boyfriend Complexity." In that episode, Howard and Raj accidentally kissed each other in the control room for a telescope. The next day, when Leonard casually asked Howard and Raj what had happened, both of them freaked out, even though Leonard hadn't heard about the kiss.
(FROM THE BIG BANG THEORY)

*Sheldon and Leonard are at the table in the cafeteria. Raj joins them.*

LEONARD: Oh, how'd it go last night?

RAJ: Oh, you know, same old same old. Looked through a telescope, saw some stars, big move.

LEONARD: Really? You waited months for a time with that telescope. What happened?

RAJ: Why? You writing a book?

SHELDON: I'm going to propose a hypothesis. Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization, and has been ordered by the United States government to keep it a secret.

RAJ: Nothing happened! Can we please just change the subject?!

SHELDON: That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone.

*Howard walks over to the table.*

HOWARD: Hey.

LEONARD: Hey.

SHELDON: Hello.

HOWARD: Hey.

RAJ: Hey.

LEONARD: You get to play with Raj's big telescope last night?

*Howard and Raj both react with shock.*

HOWARD: Where'd that come from?!

RAJ: He never touched my telescope!!

HOWARD: Way to go shutting up!

RAJ: I did shut up, now you shut up!

HOWARD: Fine!

RAJ: Thank you!

RAJ: I can't believe you didn't call me this morning.
by Daedalus Suburbanus December 6, 2013
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Telescope

Putting your eye to the end of a penis as the guy cums into your eye and you keep it there until it goes soft.
Jane saw that Ben was hard and said "do you want to telescope", Ben unzipped his trousers.
by Poopy poop November 12, 2013
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telescope

A great instrument used to spy on sexy ladies getting dressed.
Try watching a sexy girl get dressed with a telescope.
by spycatcher December 17, 2004
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Telescope

Putting a glass cup, preferably clear, up a girls vagina or ass, and using the bottom of the cup to magnify the inside of the vagina or ass.
Hey baby, mind if I use my special Telescope!
by DredrickTatem May 5, 2009
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Telescope

A mythical creature, one with large molar teeth and a scally forehead. Famed for the killing of little girls with the famous 'get alice' machine.
'Telascope, on the side, get alice!!!'
'Ah fuck!'
'Where is waterpistol?'
by Prof and Dr Gee December 18, 2004
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telescope fish day

March 8th is the official day to celebrate the glory that is the deep sea telescope fish.
“Hey Jim, did you know that tomorrow is telescope fish day?”

What it is?! I’m SO EXCITED!”
by Grungymuddy February 7, 2021
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Telescope theory

It is when you see a person from a distance, and believe they are attractive, but when they get closer they are fugly.

This could affect both male and female persons from a distance, and in some cases the male/female person could look ugly from a distance, but when closer can possibly be attractive.
Woah she's hot bro!!

Dude dont forget about the 'telescope theory,' wait till she gets closer?

Awwh no way she's ugly!
by jizz u l8a August 25, 2011
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