Stevie Wondering
Stevie Wondering has many practical applications such as:
-Marking coordinates for a mortar strike
-Signaling cargo vessels into port
-Recieving interstellar radio transmissions
-Controlled demolition of uninhabited buildings
-Performing cesarian section procedures
-Triggering lasers at Pink Floyd concerts
-Adjusting spark timing on internal combustion engines
-Tuning pianos
-Cleaning skyscraper windows
-Navigating your way through a labyrinth
-Telepathically commanding squirrels to do your dirty work
-Triggering avalanches
-Removing stains on leather upholstery
-Measuring tire pressure
-Analysing exhaust emissions
-Causing the heads of clowns to spontaneously rupture
-Instantly solving complex algebraic equations
-Causing large bridges to oscillate at a specific resonant
frequency
-Heating large vats of cooking oil quickly and painfully
-Replacing lightbulbs on radio communications towers
-Consulting with the rain?
-Prepping automobiles for paint
-Chiseling birthday cards into slates
-Constructing massive heated beaver dams for your family to live in
-Steam distilling large amounts of drinking water
-Pumping sludge from basement sinkholes
-And above all, playing one hell of a piano groove
-Marking coordinates for a mortar strike
-Signaling cargo vessels into port
-Recieving interstellar radio transmissions
-Controlled demolition of uninhabited buildings
-Performing cesarian section procedures
-Triggering lasers at Pink Floyd concerts
-Adjusting spark timing on internal combustion engines
-Tuning pianos
-Cleaning skyscraper windows
-Navigating your way through a labyrinth
-Telepathically commanding squirrels to do your dirty work
-Triggering avalanches
-Removing stains on leather upholstery
-Measuring tire pressure
-Analysing exhaust emissions
-Causing the heads of clowns to spontaneously rupture
-Instantly solving complex algebraic equations
-Causing large bridges to oscillate at a specific resonant
frequency
-Heating large vats of cooking oil quickly and painfully
-Replacing lightbulbs on radio communications towers
-Consulting with the rain?
-Prepping automobiles for paint
-Chiseling birthday cards into slates
-Constructing massive heated beaver dams for your family to live in
-Steam distilling large amounts of drinking water
-Pumping sludge from basement sinkholes
-And above all, playing one hell of a piano groove
Stevie Wondering by ellsworthtoohey August 3, 2012
