A 15th century relaxation seat, used to force people to adhere to the churches teachings, by forcing 1 1/4 inch brass tacks across the entire back half of the body. The nails are sterilized after each use...with a hose. Can nowadays be found on cruise ship decks, in luxury high rise apartments, discerning golf clubhouse lounges, and as seats in high end private jets owned by bankers/criminals. Has mainly become a luxury item, affordable only by well to do yuppies, due to its ability to relax and revitalize in just under a fortnight.
The chair of nails is useful in many ways. The chair of nails cured me of my tuberculosis, and gave me horrific reoccuring nightmares. I reccomend the junior model, which can be used on children ages 3-12, with included restraints, and gravity feed bloodbucket. Believe me your children will never forgive you if you fail to purchase one, and subsequently force them to use it.
by ellsworthtoohey August 08, 2011
The act of burger procurement via the window of giving and recieving, around the corner from the talking wall of all knowing, all while in the viscinity of Southern Europe aka under las influenzias de mota/afterspice.
The big fat clown of minnesota will crush your hood using his gargantuan stomping boots, if you attempt to go from the talking wall of all knowing to the window of giving and recieving, while stone macdonaling in reverse. Afterwards, the Ped King will feast on your remains.
by ellsworthtoohey August 24, 2011
the feeling you get when those dickface editors wont publish words/phrases you made on urban dictionary, due to the fact that they are "so fucking annoying" that i kill them all day, every day, and when i run out of dickfaces to kill, i resurrect them, and kill them once more to express my anger
I was suffering from acute urban dictionary rage, so I flew a helcopter into a high altitude brick wall at 110 nautical miles per hour. Win.
by ellsworthtoohey September 05, 2011
C'est le grand morth pion. Il nourrit sur le nectar doux d'ampoule. Il a tendance à le faire d'humeur difficile. Le seul moyen pour tuer l'est d'éteindre la lumière. Toutefois, le morth pion du peut voler à une autre source légère.
by ellsworthtoohey August 08, 2011
An old Italian legal maneuver, wherein a defendant licks the prosecutor, to establish remorse and to try and procure a lower sentence.
When Corvo was framed for the murder of the empress, he should have just invoked testifini, and things would have been easier for him.
by ellsworthtoohey December 12, 2017
The most glorious act in all of middle school shop class. The weakest one is tied to the table saw by the strongest one, the smartest one turns on the saw, and the coolest one cranks the handle, spilling the blood in a way that makes my membranes quiver. The shop teacher finds this and begins to stab the children with a tool so diabolical, it must not be spoken of by name, lest the machinist in the basement hear the screams, and begin to mill the prototype.
Riding the table saw is the greatest achievement of the era, and is in practice throughout the galaxy.
by ellsworthtoohey January 21, 2018
Where I fill my air compressor/weather baloon with helium, while killing the beast with a ceremonial knife.
by ellsworthtoohey August 08, 2011