Speed Wank

When you start masturbating, call from your bedroom to a parent and try to cum before they make it upstairs.

Boy:MUM!!!
10 seconds later..
Mum: Oh my god why did you call me here?!
Boy: i failed at the speed wank.

by Adventchild November 12, 2009

speed wank

it is someone who wanks and cum's in a matter of seconds

adam came out and said ive just cumed in 12 seconds just 2 seconds off my personal best. i better get ready for next weeks speed wank compotition

by lukeboi June 28, 2006

a nigel suicide speed wank

when your having a wank just before blowing your mayonnaise load, shout out Mum!!!!(diseased and rotting). bring my dinner up please, then try and finish the job before she gets into your room

a nigel suicide speed wank cool

by mrs tosser October 19, 2025