Schmacko Sex is sex given or withheld as reward or punishment for actions performed or omitted. Schmacko sex is instigated by conscious thought instead of a combination of the loins and emotion.
Schmackos are marketed as an irresistably powerful and instant behavour-altering dog treat. It is futile for any dog to try and resist their seductive, delicious allure.
'Gee you've done the dishes let's have sex'
'I won't sleep with you until you buy me that fridge'
'Bad partner. No schmacko sex for you! Sit! Stay ...I didn't say Beg!'.
Said after a very corny, very unfunny joke. Derived from the old Vaudeville comedy acts in which almost every one-liner was punctuated by a musical jingle. Usually played on the piano by a portly man with bright red cherub-like cheeks.