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safety goggles

When one purposely gets drunk enough to attain the condition of beer goggles in order to survive an otherwise embarrassing sexual encounter with somebody who is physically unattractive.
Tom's evening was nearly ruined when his friends forced him to play wingman with the fat ugly broad who was cockblocking and impeding their chances of scoring it with her more attractive companions. Fortunately, he utilized his wits and before he could take one for the team, he downed several bottles of Dogfish Head 90 Minute India Pale Ale, then nailed the bitch while his inebriated senses mistook her for a Jessica Alba lookalike and enjoyed every minute of it. When he was done, he got dressed and got out while still drunk, otherwise he could have passed out and woken up moments later sober and with the poor man's Rosie O'Donnell in bed with him. Thus, his safety goggles did work after all.
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Safety Goggles

When someone has on sunglasses for the sole purpose of looking at tits.
Guy 1: Nice shades.

Guy 2: These? They're just my safety goggles.
Safety Goggles by S.E.D. November 22, 2011

Safety Goggles

The sexual act in which a woman puts testicals In her eyes (hence safety goggles) and her tongue up an ass hole while the cock is slapped against her forehead. Usually willing but in forced cases see safety sunglasses
aj: did u hear that girl squeal when the got a pearl necklace? logan: ya dude i heard mike gave her some safety goggles too! aj: she had chocolate on her lips, extra eye lashes and a white head band on?!
Safety Goggles by ajgamerguy July 11, 2007

Chinese Safety Goggles 

Chinese Safety Goggles. When you dont have any safety goggles on hand and need to protect your eyes, you simply squint. Looking like a china-man and protecting your peepers.
John: "Hey Brian arent you going to use some safety goggles when you are tearing apart that tile floor?"

Brian: "Naw bra I dont need them. I have my Chinese Safety Goggles on. I never leave home without these baddies."
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proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
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The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011
Word of the Day on October 27, 2026
When your wife’s boyfriend let you sleep past 8pm 😎😎
Wife’s boyfriend: You have 5 more minutes
Me: Poggers!
Poggers by Just_Charles April 14, 2020
Word of the Day on October 26, 2026
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