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perceptions purveyor 

A mediocre public relations practicioner with average abilities who projects himself/herself as an expert and somehow gets away with it by hiding behind a huge table in a small office.
Pardon me but you will stop kissing asses from this day forward you perceptions purveyor of a writer!

Just do your job and stop fancying yourself a perceptions purveyor, it reeks of dishonesty, malintent and ambiguity.

Her well crafted article was so nice if it weren't for the by-line which makes it obviously written by a perceptions purveyor.

Perveyor of premium coffees 

Somebody, a perv, who enjoys coffee enemas. Just for the heck of it or because of the deep cleansing effect before anal sex.
Howard is a perveyor of premium coffees. After his Starbucks experience he likes to spray paint the wall behind the toilet while he bends over and shouts "Onwards Howard".