Pen Merchant

A decrying term used against a football player, usually whatever the most popular forward of that moment is, accusing them of only being able to score a goal from a penalty kick.
"Did you see the United game last night?"
"Ronaldo's finished, he's just a pen merchant now."
by Official Peter Crouch April 22, 2022
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pen merchant

A football player that only scores from penalty kicks, i.e. Pionel Pepsi
During the World Cup, Papa Infantino gave Lionel Messi 5 penalties and the dwarf managed to score four. He's such a pen merchant! No team in football history has ever been awarded five penalties in one world cup!

Vargentina, led by the renowned pen merchant Pessi, won the rigged World Cup of Qatar. This trophy will be remembered as one of the most shameful chapters of football history
by RationalFootballFan from Chile November 19, 2023
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