Pasteurbation 

noun

1.The act of using pasteurized milk as lubricant while pleasuring oneself.

2. The act of spilling milk on a laptop whilst looking at porn, consequently voiding any warranty under which the PC might be.

3. The acting of rubbing one out to grazing cattle.

After receiving blue balls from his girlfriend, Jon resorted to pasteurbation when he realized he ran out of lotion.

After speaking with a Geek about repairing her computer, Peggy became irate once she was told her PC's warranty was void. After further inquiry, she discovered that milk spillage was not covered. She later realized that her son, Byron, was into some heavy, habitual pasteurbation.

Pasteurbation by BulldogNelly June 20, 2012

Pasturbation 

Obsessively romanticizing the past.

Mad Men is great TV, if you're into pasturbation.

Pasturbation by fraying August 31, 2010

Pabsturbation 

The act of delivering untold pleasures to one's self through the art of cracking a Pabst.

Pabsturbation can be performed alone or in groups.

Pabsturbation by Dave the King of Rock July 4, 2010

Pastorbation 

Pas-tor-ba-tion (noun)

The act of self-satisfaction while under the supervision / assistance of one's religious leader or pastor

OR

The execution of sexual acts performed on or by one's religious leader

It is a shame.... those altar boys were victims of pastorbation.

Pastorbation by Ronan XVII November 10, 2008

pastorbation 

Masturbation by a priest while hearing an especially steamy confession.

From the rustling and heavy breathing I could tell pastorbation was occurring just beyond the confessional wall.

pastorbation by Cuntoleezza Rice November 10, 2006

Pasturebation 

The act of happening upon a beautiful scene scape, one that stops you dead in your tracks and forces you to think about the beauty in the world (such as the love of your life coming up behind you, wrapping their arms around you firmly, resting their head in the nape of your neck and quietly whispering "I love you"). The kind of place where it seems that the wind itself whistles merry tunes, as if to say, "hey little guy, everything's going to be alright..." and a photographer behind you is capturing every perfect moment so it can be used as a default wallpaper for Windows 90 million or a background on a calendar for the month of September. Then, just as your head is being filled with wondrous thoughts, and you could swear you caught a whiff of fresh apple pie right out of the oven, you notice a man right at the top of the hill, standing directly in front of the sunset where the sky meets the earth, violently Pasturebating. Yes, that's right. Don't clean your glasses or blink twice, leaning forward a bit. That man is publicly masturbating atop one of the most beautiful places on planet earth. He then, with a grin from ear to ear that makes dead grandmothers everywhere nod their head exclaiming "what a nice boy", blows his regal load in the direction of the once-calming wind and you watch it fly away; forever whisked to the fertile loins of forever. You will never look at this place the same again. In fact, you will be so scarred you will probably never return at all.

Mom: Here it is sweetie, the Grand Canyon!

Child: oh wow! what's THAT mom?!

Mom: What's wha.......oh my god....IS THAT.....IS HE............WHO THE FUCK........WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

Child: what's a "fuck" mom?

Mom: SHUT THE FUCK UP....WE'RE OUT OF HERE......THOSE DAMN PASTUREBATERS WITH THEIR PASTUREBATION JUST HAVE TO RUIN EVERYTHING, DON'T THEY.........

Pasturebation by B.D. Joe October 12, 2010

Passturbation 

Masturbating in light of passing an exam/course.

YES! I DIDN'T FAIL THE GOD DAMN PHYSICS EXAM! I'M GOING TO PASSTURBATE FOR HOURS TONIGHT!!! I'm going to do some passturbation.

Passturbation by Yandereperson March 5, 2011