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Oldswinford 

Posh part of Stourbridge, where middle class people live who usually work in Birmingham
Dave: Fancy goin out in Oldswinford tonight
Charlie: Nah, i aint made of money
Urban Dictionary Merch

Old Swinford Hospital 

Old Swinford hospital is a shitty money loving boarding school in the slap bang piss no where in West Midlands, The boarding houses has the worst vaping facilities apart from foster house toilets where everyone has a personal toilet with a smoke dispenser and the stone block toilet where all the dodgy deals happen. Vapes and drugs here are highly overpriced here, a smok novo can set you back 25£, 3.5g of bud can be up to 45 and a gram of coke can be as much as a whopping 60£. Dr sahni doesn’t pay tax, Mr Eastwood is lost, Mr Pardoe thinks he is a gangster, Mr macdonald-smith was bullied as a child and Mr Taylor is a jobless neek.
If you want to scam a bunch of jobless snobs, go to old Swinford hospital

Old swinford in Stourbridge 

fuck me I mean where do I start, I can’t lie i hear “what’s that in your pocket” more than the shitty maths equations mr nartey who no one knows what fuck he’s saying tryna waffle in ya face 24/7 (sound g tho). Imagine dis ye I pay 36k to stay at this ‘posh school’ when I get in, In the mornings, guess what, mans stuck outside for fucking 25 mins In the freezing cold cuz I ain’t got a fucking key card which their tryna scam their way into making me pay 15 fucking quid for another one, drug game here is shit as no one has experience like I could moretime buy a Z of dust off some next crackhead younger for a fiver and still get licked within 5 seconds of approaching the shit. Biggest bollocks is that these man care more about fucking catching kids with their ‘vape devices’ than getting me my fucking GCSEs. Ain’t done yet so don’t click off, shout out to my guy Mr Kerr he’s a fucking legend. Mr slaphead Perry thinks he’s the shit when one slap on the head would course a fucking earthquake enough to wipe out the wannabe gangsters in the school. Mr coalter or however the fuck u spell it’s name cares more about your fucking creps than ya fucking life, man pays 36k for me to be sitting in the dining hall eating with two fucking spoons cuz they ain’t got no fucking cutlery to give us and slap a bit on the side call that an osh special. But ye fuck me it’s never to late to leave this mockery.
Boy 1: what’s old swinford in Stourbridge

Boy 2: ‘jumps off a bridge

Old Swinford Hospital school 

This school is honestly autism in a nutshell. You have the boarders noncing on the younger girls because they have social anxiety talking to girls their age. Most of teachers look like nonces, mr Eastwood is probably dead, miss Wakefield was in a rather questionable video published online, mr macken cries when he can't control a class. The year 7s give me brain damage and make me want to catapult them to Narnia. I have to eat my lunches with a knife with no fork. Dodgy dealings happen in folean centre and the stone blocks toilets. You have people wanking onto each others pillows and the toilet lids and shit smeared all over the floor. People who go other schools call it "poshy oshy" meanwhile if they went here for a day they would consider therapy. Most of the day boys aren't even meant to be in this shithole and wish they could move somewhere else. If you are picking this school for one of your options, please consider not communicating with anyone that looks like a melt. if you like this school please reconsider your actions you fuckin neek. we get people inside the school so that we earn money from the government, they usually last a week or get knocked out by being too cocky. xoxo

Yours faithfully,
shush
year 6 - "I want to go to old Swinford hospital school, I am going to consider shooting myself in 5 years time!"
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