"No johns" means that you can't make excuses. It is the perfect counter argument to anyone who is making any type of excuse whatever. When someone makes excuses or tries to make excuses, they are "johning". If this occurs, tell them "NO JOHHNZZ".

Me: "Dude, I just 4 stocked your Marth with my Pikachu.

n00b: "Yeah, but Marth isn't my main character."

Me (as well as crowd): "NO JOHHNZZ SON"

no johns by Cary Abrell (Ruler_OF_Melee) May 29, 2005

Related Words

no johns • Please no johns • Kiarra no middle name Johnson • No Condom John • john no fun • John no way home • no • No u • no homo • No Diddy

Please no johns

When someone was making excuses to win an argument or an excuse to win an argument, say please no johns.

Person one: If my neutral air actually connected I would've wo-

Reggie: please no johns.

Please no johns by 9dohead October 7, 2020

No Johns

No Excuses

"That was definitely East Coast DI."
~ Commentator (East Coast)

"What's wrong with our DI?"
~ Mango (West Coast)

"Your DI is horrible. Trust me. Your DI causes you to die."

"Our DI rapes. We like to have fun, so we let let each other combo each other. That's how it works. We're not super-serious like you guys."

"Alright. In the East Coast, we got this saying called 'No Johns'."

Revival of Melee 1 Crew Battle Commentary

No Johns by OnionChild December 26, 2012

Please no johns

It is something to say if someone is making excuses to win an argument or the reason they lost a game.

Person one: Zero suit up b kill's bowser at 70?!!

Reggie: Please no johns.

Please no johns by 9dohead October 7, 2020

Kiarra no middle name Johnson

Kiarra is my lovely ex wife that I love a lot <33

Used when saying Kiarra’s full name, “I love you Kiarra no middle name Johnson.”

Kiarra no middle name Johnson by KaniWani April 10, 2022

murderhobo

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.

DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.

murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021

Word of the Day on September 22, 2026

Whale

In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.

"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."

Whale by FQ_GFY February 3, 2020

Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy

A guy who thinks he's a country kinda guy, but in reality lives a comfortable city / suburban life.

Eugene: Look at that dude in the cowboy hat!
Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.

Concrete cowboy by EugeneJohnson42000 March 16, 2024

Word of the Day on September 20, 2026

hobo loko

any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear

hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh

hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026

Word of the Day on September 19, 2026

God Shot

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".

Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."

God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011

Word of the Day on September 18, 2026

city chicken

A food native to Pittsburgh/Western Pennsylvania in which cubes of pork and/or veal are put on a short, wooden skewer, breaded, then baked and/or fried.

I've heard that city chicken originated during the Great Depression, when folks didn't have enough money to buy full cuts of meat, so they assembled meat scraps on a wooden skewer, creating a make-shift drumstick. Hence the name.

Are yinz havin' city chicken for dinner?

city chicken by TRF August 31, 2006

Word of the Day on September 17, 2026