Nissan Xtera

Accidentally used as a stunt vehicle on the Garden State Parkway southbound lane. On Thursday July 2, 2009, an anonymous driver in a tinted-out Nissan Xtera SUV tried to arbitrarily prevent me from chaning lanes by speeding up next to me. I got in front of him anyways, and he took this as a personal offense against himself. To make a long story short, he had to be a big shot and attempt to bully me with his larger vehicle, probably because he has a small penis. As soon as he got the chance, he passed me on the right and swerved recklessly into the left lane in front of me. At this point, I was already braking, because being that I am a far superior driver, I could see that he was going to lose it. Sure enough, the big, heavy SUV didn't comply with his idiotic maneuvering. It swerved to the left, then to the right, almost hitting another car in the right lane, then swerved to the left again and slammed into the concrete divider at about 40-50 mph. I savored the awsome sound of the impact - the boom of the colliding masses, combined with the sharp crunching sound of crumpling fiberglass and plastic. The front driver-side wheel briefly rode up onto the wall, then the vehicle came back down and regained control. The wanna-be stunt man then got into the right lane and prepared to pull over, and as I passed him, my friend and I couldn't help but laugh histerically at this bone-head. An entertaining example of sheer stupidity combined with extremely poor driving ability. Combine that with a heavy, unstable vehicle, and thats a recipe for destruction and self-humiliation.

The Nissan Xtera is bulky and heavy and handles like a tank, except it doesn't knock down concrete walls like a real tank. As a matter of fact, it didn't do much of anything to the wall.

by Mr. Ferrari July 14, 2009

Nissan xterra

Ohh man. The nissan xterra. For people who cant afford a toyota and are smart enough not to get a jeep, the nissan xterra had 2 model years official model years, but 3 styles.

2000-2004 - the first xterras, relatively reliable had 2 front ends the square light and bugeye these came with the 2.4l i4, 3.3l v6, and a fucking SUPERCHARGED 3.3l v6, because who doesnt love a little bitta whining from your car when your spouse already does that

2005-2008 - sketchy year of the xterra, they usually get this fucking thing called SMOD which is where the radiator fluid mixes with the tranny fluid and it fucks the transmission to death. And the timing chain tentioner guide could fuck up cus of the guide is FUCKING PLASTIC, the engine options for this were the vq40de, but it wasnt “solved”

2009 - the first year of the facelift, same issues as the non facelift

2010-2015 - the relatively safe years of xterras, feturing the 4.0 vq40DE that had all the issues solved for the most part, just do oil changes and youre peachy.

Now that we got all the fun stuff outta the way lets break into the other bullshittery. Money. How much money does it take to fill up this beast

Well, at the time of writing this it is 50 bucks for a full tank and it drinks gas like a alchoholic drinks coors lite or jack Daniels. It drinks. So be prepared to crack into your collage fund or whatever to fuel this absolute tank.

Trail goer #1 - “hey is that tom in his new SUV? What is that?”

Trail goer #2 - “doesnt look like a 4-runner to me”

Tom - “you guys like my Nissan Xterra?”

(Im not writing a whole fucking comic)

by Bing Cott June 29, 2025