Skip to main content

Monte Crispo

When you invite an ugly chick out to a picnic on top of a plateau. Must be on the sunniest, hottest day of the summer. You seduce her into having sloppy outdooor sex with you. Then you jizz on her chest and parachute off the side of the plateau with all of her belongings. Leaving her stuck at the top with the sun beating down on her naked chest that's covered with semen.
Dude this weekend I'm going to tell ugly Shirley to have a picnic with me at the plateau. I'm so gonna Monte Crispo her.
by T-Jayzel April 14, 2005
mugGet the Monte Crispo mug.

Montecristo

1. One of the greatest cigars in the world. Once hand rolled in Cuba, now from Dominican Republic.

2. Count of "Montecristo" - famous wronged individual who served decades in prison until escape and treasure gave him means to correct injustice.

3. Location on west coast of California habitated by Jimmi C and his favorite Chinavieja.
1. Jimmi Ray lit a Montecristo, put on a CD by Jimmy Buffet, poured himself a Mojito and pulled Dulce Maria on to his lap for a sunset moment.

2. Edmund Dantes escaped prison by hiding in a bag that the guards thought contained a dead man, went to an island where he found a massive treasure and then moved back home and took the name "Count of Montecristo" as he tied up a few loose threads in sweet revenge.

3. Jimmi Ray worked for 20 years as a measure, inspector and advertising guy and then retired to a place he called "Montecristo" where the Russian River became the Pacific Ocean.
by jim christ May 12, 2008
mugGet the Montecristo mug.

Montecristo

When a stripper coppulates your thumb and then inserts said thumb into her asshole while in the context of a lap dance.
Gideon got montecristoed at the Cheetah Club last night and spent an inordinate amount of time washing his hands afterwards.
by Ash666 May 29, 2016
mugGet the Montecristo mug.

Montecristo Finish

The act of blowing your load down her throat while making her zamboni the piss crust off the lilly pads in the toilet bowl. To really get her off, you need to stick a Montecristo mini in her eyeball during the act.
I gave that bitch the Montecristo Finish and she sucked it up and wanted another.
by Yo Momma Don't Care November 28, 2021
mugGet the Montecristo Finish mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email