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Monte Crispo

When you invite an ugly chick out to a picnic on top of a plateau. Must be on the sunniest, hottest day of the summer. You seduce her into having sloppy outdooor sex with you. Then you jizz on her chest and parachute off the side of the plateau with all of her belongings. Leaving her stuck at the top with the sun beating down on her naked chest that's covered with semen.
Dude this weekend I'm going to tell ugly Shirley to have a picnic with me at the plateau. I'm so gonna Monte Crispo her.
Monte Crispo by T-Jayzel April 14, 2005
Urban Dictionary Merch

Montecristo 

1. One of the greatest cigars in the world. Once hand rolled in Cuba, now from Dominican Republic.

2. Count of "Montecristo" - famous wronged individual who served decades in prison until escape and treasure gave him means to correct injustice.

3. Location on west coast of California habitated by Jimmi C and his favorite Chinavieja.

1. Jimmi Ray lit a Montecristo, put on a CD by Jimmy Buffet, poured himself a Mojito and pulled Dulce Maria on to his lap for a sunset moment.

2. Edmund Dantes escaped prison by hiding in a bag that the guards thought contained a dead man, went to an island where he found a massive treasure and then moved back home and took the name "Count of Montecristo" as he tied up a few loose threads in sweet revenge.

3. Jimmi Ray worked for 20 years as a measure, inspector and advertising guy and then retired to a place he called "Montecristo" where the Russian River became the Pacific Ocean.
Montecristo by jim christ May 12, 2008

Montecristo 

When a stripper coppulates your thumb and then inserts said thumb into her asshole while in the context of a lap dance.
Gideon got montecristoed at the Cheetah Club last night and spent an inordinate amount of time washing his hands afterwards.
Montecristo by Ash666 May 29, 2016

Montecristo Finish 

The act of blowing your load down her throat while making her zamboni the piss crust off the lilly pads in the toilet bowl. To really get her off, you need to stick a Montecristo mini in her eyeball during the act.
I gave that bitch the Montecristo Finish and she sucked it up and wanted another.
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A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.
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Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo 

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Word of the Day on September 22, 2026
In sales terms, a whale is a prospect that is significantly larger than an organization’s average customer.

Whales are large and extremely difficult to close. Due to their immense size, they are highly sought-after.

A whale is typically identified at first by a whale hunter on the sales team, but often requires cross-discipline participation in order to close; this includes assistance from operations, engineering, creative, client success, and business development teams.
"Shit...the sales director chewed me out on the sales call this morning. He's totally pissed that I have nothing in my pipeline. I've been focused on this one whale for so long that I haven't had time to prospect for normal-sized deals."
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Word of the Day on September 21, 2026

Concrete cowboy 

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Todd: He's just a concrete cowboy.
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any hard liquor that is cheap & potent.. eg. relska, popov, potters, evan williams, kamchatka, fireball, rumpleminze, southern comfort, everclear
hey let's get a drink of that?

go ahead
*takes drink* ugh wtf is that?

everclear & bepsi
fucking hobo loko eeessshh
hobo loko by d i z k o 2 0 8 September 14, 2026
Word of the Day on September 19, 2026

God Shot 

A chance happening with profound meaning, an unexpected blessing, a "sign".
Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab said "All of a sudden what had been just another Hollywood proposal became for him an unexpected blessing, an opportunity for growth. In drug recovery language, that's called a "God shot."
God Shot by Imogen1564 February 25, 2011
Word of the Day on September 18, 2026
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