Monkey Wank 

Pleasuring oneself with the feet, whilst swinging in a tyre.

I'm off home for a banana, a few nuts and a monkey wank.

Monkey Wank by Borthers February 21, 2007

monkey wank 

when you knock one out whilst up a tree.

eg i got bored last night so i climbed a tree and had a monkey wank

monkey wank by lokimike October 26, 2008

Monkey Wank 

The act of masturbating whilst making loud monkey noises, such as 'ooooh eeeh ah ah ah oooh ahh ahhh!'

''Christy was screaming last night in his room. I think he was having a monkey wank!''

Monkey Wank by PdizDog November 27, 2011

monkey wank 

1. A situation note entirely going the desired way.

2. Of something which is totally useless.

As the chief engineer watched the new bridge come crashing down on its first opening plunging 100 cars and occupents into the river below, he was heard to comment "This is turning into a pile of stale monkey wank"

monkey wank by Norbert Colon October 15, 2004

Wank monkey

A person that is socially inept and yet full of themselves.

Someone whose only source of conversation is themselves and the things they get up to.

The word derives from the common word for masturbation and monkey, the animal that uses aggressive displays to prove their social status.

It occurred to me as I heard about Nikki's time as a stripper that she was a huge wank monkey.

Wank monkey by Alan-O September 26, 2007

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi 

Some neurosurgeon posted a definition for masturbate with a bunch of synonyms and decided it would be a good idea to make them all one big link, which is how you got here to this page. Here's to that genius.

I hope that person catches AIDS from masturbating.



SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement.

SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermi by Catamount June 21, 2008