Seeing Mitch perform live (about a year before he died) was the best moment of my life. All of you are right: He's the funniest person that ever lived, and the world is much less funny without him.
Mitch Hedberg -isms:
"Escalators are good, cuz they can never break. They just become stairs."
"I find that a duck's opinion of me is heavily influenced by whether or not I have bread."
"I saw a human pyramid once. It was so unnecessary."
"I wish there was such a thing as cinnamon roll incense, because I would light some up in the morning and give my roommate false hope."
"Escalators are good, cuz they can never break. They just become stairs."
"I find that a duck's opinion of me is heavily influenced by whether or not I have bread."
"I saw a human pyramid once. It was so unnecessary."
"I wish there was such a thing as cinnamon roll incense, because I would light some up in the morning and give my roommate false hope."
by Her Royal Hard A** October 26, 2006
The best comedian who ever lived. He sadly died at a young age due to a continuous heart problem. Give respect people, and quote whenever necessary.
by Smitty Joe May 26, 2005
- Dogs are forever in the push up position.
- I cant wear turtlenecks, it's like being strangeld by a really weak guy, all fucking day. When I wear a turtleneck and a backpack, i think a weak midget is trying to take me down.
- I cant wear turtlenecks, it's like being strangeld by a really weak guy, all fucking day. When I wear a turtleneck and a backpack, i think a weak midget is trying to take me down.
by Chris, bitch April 25, 2004
A comedian who happened to be the funniest person ever to walk the earth. Died earlier this year...and the world has been unfunny ever since. He was about to to a special on HBO that would have been fuckin' awesome...but now...it will never happen. Go figure...everyone who ever does something good for the world dies before they hit 30.
by Sgt. Pepper May 11, 2005
"Alcoholism is a disease, but it's the only one you can get yelled at for having. Goddamn it Otto, you are an alcoholic. Goddamn it Otto, you have Lupus... one of those two doesn't sound right."--Mitch Hedberg
by nirvana563 May 07, 2005
A comedian with the most off beat, hilarious sense of humour ever heard to man. Created a cult-like following of loyal subjects that wish they were half as funny as his dog. Tragically, Mitch departed this world in late March 2005, leaving us only with fond memories and this lesson learned:
1. Everyone worth anything is on drugs
2. Drugs kill people
3. Everyone worth anything dies
1. Everyone worth anything is on drugs
2. Drugs kill people
3. Everyone worth anything dies
"I was sitting at a bar, and no one was talking to me cuz I had just did a show *Crowd laughs*, and this guy bumped into me, and he didn't apologize, he just said, 'Move!' which I thought was rude, so I said, 'Go to hell,' and then I started to run. He caught up with me. He had a moustache, a goatee, earrings, a pair of sunglasses, his hair was in a pony tail, and he was wearing a hat. He said, 'Hey! You got a lot of nerve!' I said, 'Hey, you've got a lot of............cranium accesories!" *Everyone laughs. Mitch laughs* Ha, this a smart crowd. When I play the dumb crowds I have to say, 'You've got a lot of shit on your head!'"
by Peasento May 05, 2005
Probably one of the funniest comedians to ever stand on a stage and hold a microphone. His comedy was all over the place, had no real story line to it, but always made you laugh. Sadly though, Mitch died in 2005 of a heart complication.
Hopefully he's making funnies for God, Jesus, and all those bigshots up on the big stage in the sky. This deffinition is dedicated to you Mitch! You rock my socks!....Totally.
R.I.P. Mitch
Hopefully he's making funnies for God, Jesus, and all those bigshots up on the big stage in the sky. This deffinition is dedicated to you Mitch! You rock my socks!....Totally.
R.I.P. Mitch
Some infamous quotes from Mitch Hedberg::
"Some hotels don't have 13th floors because of supersticion...But people on the 14th floor, you know what floor you're really on. Jump out the window of the 13th floor and you will die earlier."
"Rice is great if you want 2000 of something."
"It dosn't matter whether you're black, white, green, or purple...oh wait - green or purple? I think we have to draw the line somewhere. So the hell with purple people...Unless they're choking...then help 'em!"
"Some hotels don't have 13th floors because of supersticion...But people on the 14th floor, you know what floor you're really on. Jump out the window of the 13th floor and you will die earlier."
"Rice is great if you want 2000 of something."
"It dosn't matter whether you're black, white, green, or purple...oh wait - green or purple? I think we have to draw the line somewhere. So the hell with purple people...Unless they're choking...then help 'em!"
by Rose-Colored-Glasses August 15, 2006