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Lower Merion High School (2026)

A well-funded Main Line school that spawns Starbucks-drinking, lacrosse-playing, iPhone-using, TikTok-addicted, grade-worrying, Taylor Swift-listening, party-going, nice-car-driving, Ivy-League-obsessed rich kids who follow every trend and think they’re celebrities. In reality, the only people who care live on the Main Line, and even their dramatic friends still find ways to hate on each other because they have nothing better to do. They get away with most things because daddy makes a lot of money.

This place is basically a luxury NPC factory and a disaster at the same time. You either got kids who don’t care about school or overprivileged try-hards doing every club just to get into their Ivy League dreamhouse.

The girls live on TikTok, Lululemon, and Instagram drama. The boys act chill, but you know they have fake IDs and drink every Saturday.

Don’t get me started on the freshmen. They have the attention span of a pencil eraser and play Geometry Dash in detention.

THE URINALS DON’T FLUSH, SO THE HALLWAY SMELLS LIKE PISS.

Everyone follows the same trends. If you don’t have a Stanley cup, you’re cooked. You won’t get bullied like the movies, but you’ll definitely get gossiped on by Regina George and her squad.

If you want four years of stress, gossip, rich-kid drama, broken bathrooms, and people saying “Bro,” “OMG like,” and “I mean…” every five seconds, welcome to Lower Merion.
Douchebag 1: Yo man, what are you doing this weekend?

Douchebag 2: You know, going up to the Platt, getting wasted and then having sex with five girls, and then I'm going to talk about it Monday in the middle of my Gov class so everyone knows how cool I am, even though I'm an unoriginal asshat who thinks I've pioneered the art of drinking.

Overly Dramatic Slut 1: OMG!!!11one liek i cant believe she would say something like that. What a fucking bitch!! and i cant believe that all our AP teacher's gave us so much work liek, Really?? And i cant believe that connors party got busted!!one1 and how do my very tight shorts, uggs, and lululemon bra jacket look today?

Overly Dramatic Slut 2: I mean, really? I guessssssss. They look great as usual, and yeaaa that was sooo gay I cant wait to get fucked by adam tonight yayyyy

Guy with a mind of his own: I need to get the fuck out of Lower Merion High School (2026).
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