Skip to main content
A term used to describe a guy who wants to be cool but just ends up being more annoying than an 8 year old with ADHD who just drank 5 gallons of sugar-laden Kool-Aid.

(Note: Referred to as a "guy", although technically not a male - a large, untrimmed vag with pubic lice can be seen where the penis is usually found on a man.)
Girl: Do you hear that irritating motherfucker? Why is he fully grown, but still acts like my little sister in elementary school??

Guy: Yeah, he's a total Kerns. People always want to bitchslap the shit out of him, but it would feel too much like child abuse.
Kerns by tvrepairman October 23, 2010
Urban Dictionary Merch
Your favorite words on things you can wear, drink from, read, or give to a friend.
The Urban Dictionary Store sells gifts you’ll have to explain.
To sleep with your mom, except not as a 4-year-old who's scared of the dark, but after you're well into adulthood.
Kerns: So mom, same place same time tonight? ;) (*cough* my room, midnight *cough*)

Guy nearby: Holy shit. Talk about the creepiest family of losers around.
Kerns by rodentcontrol October 30, 2011

what a kerns 

an insult used to describe something outrageous
"what a kerns move"
"omg what a kerns"
what a kerns by ricky gg October 26, 2007

Todd Dammit Kerns 

Bassist for Slash and the Conspirators. Guitarist for Sin City Sinners. His name is Todd Dammit because it rhymes with God Dammit. Todd is awesome.
Dude, who is that guy with Slash?

Oh, that's Todd Dammit Kerns!

Emily Kerns

Emily is shy at first but after getting to know she’s very caring, funny, and an amazing friend. She is very beautiful and smart. Can be very crazy at times but that’s what makes her fun. Is very good at telling why mood people are in after a few minutes of bed ngnnear them. Trying to hide your emotions around her is a waste of time. She also hides her emotions not wanting to be hurt, or hurt others. Easily loved by many, though gets sad when she likes a guy and he doesn’t like her back. Often over looks potential relationships that are right in front of her. But no matter why she will be there for you, so don’t shut her out of your life.
Emily Kerns is such an amazing person
Emily Kerns by He’s kind December 4, 2018

Thomas Kerns 

a complete and total bad ass nothing can stop him ever and all those who try end in death...
Rambo, chuck norris, hell boy
holy crap chuck norris is a total Thomas Kerns
Thomas Kerns by Gangstar December 14, 2008

Kolten Kerns 

Biggest queer to ever touch the surface of this Earth. So gay the he has to frame being straight to his friends by dating a black woman. Says Olah every time he joins the discord in the gayest possible voice. Litterly everyone despises Kolten Kerns.
yo, you see Kolten Kerns over there? RUN HES A QUEER!!!!!
More from Urban Dictionary

countrypolitan 

Term used to describe someone who is a mix of both rural (country) and urban (metropolitan) lifestyles/upbringings. He/she is typically equally comfortable in both settings and is able to seamlessly slip back and forth between the two, appreciating the characteristics of each.
That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
countrypolitan by MOChick November 7, 2006
Word of the Day on November 1, 2026

Witch Bath 

A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
Witch Bath by carnieboy30 October 26, 2020
Word of the Day on October 31, 2026

kinktober 

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018
Word of the Day on October 30, 2026

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
Load more