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kaspersky
A Russian "Anti Virus" solution commonly mocked due to being very stereotypical. For instance, before the virus protection will protect your computer from infections, you must first earn its respect. Otherwise, the only option you can select when dealing with a virus is "Ignore". It is still unknown how one must go about "earning its respect".
Kaspersky is also known for not only removing viruses, but "Crushing" them or "Obliterating" them. Instead of quarantining a virus, Kaspersky sends the virus to the Gulag where it serves 20 years hard labor breaking rocks in Siberia.
Kaspersky's company slogan is "In Soviet Russia, virus scanner scan YOU".
Kaspersky Anti Virus is often criticized when a virus is found that becomes unremovable. Instead of letting the virus win, Kaspersky will automatically blow up your computer so nobody wins, because, according to Kaspersky, "It is much more desirable for both Kaspersky and virus to lose, than for virus to win".
There have been reports recently stating that Kaspersky Anti Virus actually puts viruses on your computer, and then acts like its doing YOU a favor when it removes them. This is a particularly big problem if you have not earned Kaspersky's respect yet.
Kaspersky Anti Virus is rumored to be releasing a firewall solution in the coming months. Instead of simply being a firewall, though, it will be an iron curtain that puts satellite computers around yours, forming a virus buffer zone.
Kaspersky is also known for not only removing viruses, but "Crushing" them or "Obliterating" them. Instead of quarantining a virus, Kaspersky sends the virus to the Gulag where it serves 20 years hard labor breaking rocks in Siberia.
Kaspersky's company slogan is "In Soviet Russia, virus scanner scan YOU".
Kaspersky Anti Virus is often criticized when a virus is found that becomes unremovable. Instead of letting the virus win, Kaspersky will automatically blow up your computer so nobody wins, because, according to Kaspersky, "It is much more desirable for both Kaspersky and virus to lose, than for virus to win".
There have been reports recently stating that Kaspersky Anti Virus actually puts viruses on your computer, and then acts like its doing YOU a favor when it removes them. This is a particularly big problem if you have not earned Kaspersky's respect yet.
Kaspersky Anti Virus is rumored to be releasing a firewall solution in the coming months. Instead of simply being a firewall, though, it will be an iron curtain that puts satellite computers around yours, forming a virus buffer zone.
kaspersky by Jordandijinz0rz January 25, 2009
Related Words
kaspers dick
Oh. My. God. I've never seen something more huge, holy fucking priestly shit. Kasper's dick is the most massive thing in the entire fucking UNIVERSE. It beats Kenny's dick, Marcus' dick, and even Bri's dick.
kaspers dick by sexyguy12443332 January 2, 2021
Kasparas
Kasparas is one of the best people there is. He is usually really intelligent and hardworking. Kasparas has the best sense of humour and can make anyone and everyone laugh. The is the best type of friend to have, he will always be there when you need him. He will push you to be the best version of yourself.
kaspers dick
Oh. My. God. I've never seen something more huge, holy fucking priestly shit. Kasper's dick is the most massive thing in the entire fucking UNIVERSE. It beats Kenny's dick, Marcus' dick, and even Bri's dick.
kaspers dick by sexyguy12443332 January 2, 2021
More from Urban Dictionary
Pink Cloud
12 step recovery jargon referring to someone new who talks about how great life is, now that they're sober. Usually meaning that the person is out of touch with reality.
The new guy seems pretty happy for a dude who has no job, no money and no family. He must be on a pink cloud.
Pink Cloud by toniwithaneye November 24, 2006
Word of the Day on August 18, 2026
Striver
The striver is an interesting phenomenon that is seen across college campuses. In essence, the striver is an over-achiever who comes from a working or middle class family. He may be an immigrant. He may have been a slacker in HS who was "born again" into an academic wunderkind. Or he may just be an over-achiever who is keeping at it.
The striver is willing to sacrifice his social life at the expense of Phi Beta Kappa and Summa Cum Laude. The striver is the guy who stays at the library long after you are gone. The striver is the guy who takes 30 credits/semester and considers anything below an A/4.0 failure. The striver doesn't work on campus, he is too busy finding ways to pad his resume instead of working retail or workstudy. The striver lets his grades pay his education by applying to ten scholarships a year.
The striver is a future Soros/Fullbright/Rhodes/Gates/Marshall/etc. fellow. The striver lives to study. For the striver, their fun comes from the rewards they expect to receive in return for their diligence. Be it Law School, B-School, academia, or politics. The striver seeks to find the American Dream through academic success.
The striver is willing to sacrifice his social life at the expense of Phi Beta Kappa and Summa Cum Laude. The striver is the guy who stays at the library long after you are gone. The striver is the guy who takes 30 credits/semester and considers anything below an A/4.0 failure. The striver doesn't work on campus, he is too busy finding ways to pad his resume instead of working retail or workstudy. The striver lets his grades pay his education by applying to ten scholarships a year.
The striver is a future Soros/Fullbright/Rhodes/Gates/Marshall/etc. fellow. The striver lives to study. For the striver, their fun comes from the rewards they expect to receive in return for their diligence. Be it Law School, B-School, academia, or politics. The striver seeks to find the American Dream through academic success.
Anthony was a striver. He transfered from a TTT to an IVY and graduated in 2 years. He studied his ass off and went to Penn Law. He got a Biglaw offer. But lost it all because of an unmoderated mesasgeboard.
Successful strivers:
- Barack Obama
- Harold Koh
Successful strivers:
- Barack Obama
- Harold Koh
Striver by URM Striver January 3, 2009
Word of the Day on August 15, 2026
SkyPesos
Delta SkyMiles, also known as SkyPesos, is the frequent flyer program of Delta Airlines. It has a very poor value and hard to use.
- I'm trying to book an award flight to Paris, but I only have 70,000 SkyPesos
- Just forget about it, you don't have enough SkyPesos to fly anywhere.
- Just forget about it, you don't have enough SkyPesos to fly anywhere.
SkyPesos by 404_name_not_found December 6, 2018
Word of the Day on August 14, 2026