kaspersky

A Russian "Anti Virus" solution commonly mocked due to being very stereotypical. For instance, before the virus protection will protect your computer from infections, you must first earn its respect. Otherwise, the only option you can select when dealing with a virus is "Ignore". It is still unknown how one must go about "earning its respect".

Kaspersky is also known for not only removing viruses, but "Crushing" them or "Obliterating" them. Instead of quarantining a virus, Kaspersky sends the virus to the Gulag where it serves 20 years hard labor breaking rocks in Siberia.

Kaspersky's company slogan is "In Soviet Russia, virus scanner scan YOU".

Kaspersky Anti Virus is often criticized when a virus is found that becomes unremovable. Instead of letting the virus win, Kaspersky will automatically blow up your computer so nobody wins, because, according to Kaspersky, "It is much more desirable for both Kaspersky and virus to lose, than for virus to win".

There have been reports recently stating that Kaspersky Anti Virus actually puts viruses on your computer, and then acts like its doing YOU a favor when it removes them. This is a particularly big problem if you have not earned Kaspersky's respect yet.

Kaspersky Anti Virus is rumored to be releasing a firewall solution in the coming months. Instead of simply being a firewall, though, it will be an iron curtain that puts satellite computers around yours, forming a virus buffer zone.
Kaspersky Anti Virus is the most untrusted name in virus protection.
by Jordandijinz0rz January 25, 2009
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care level

The level of which you give a shit. Usually accompanied by a hand motion to physically show how high the level is.
Phil: Did I tell you guys about how in my calculus class, the teacher said that the cosine of pi is actually not equvialent to the derivative of the tangent line?

Me: Care Level: |
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by Jordandijinz0rz October 31, 2004
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yark yark yark

What is said in response to a bad joke.
Dave: Why did the chicken cross the road?

Dave: Anyone, anyone?!

Dave: Because I'm Jewish!!!1

Everyone: Yark Yark Yark
by Jordandijinz0rz October 31, 2004
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urination station

A bathroom, or, if you're a real man, a tree or Jordan's car.
I am going to go use the urination station parked in front of Jordan's house.
by Jordandijinz0rz October 31, 2004
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rational ignorance

Choosing to remain uninformed because the marginal cost of obtaining the information is higher than the marginal benefit of knowing it.

Commonly practiced by hicks that don't wish to change their point of views about ANYTHING.
"All dem blackies wanna do is steal turnips outta mah garden!"

"Those Muslims and Hin-don'ts are the devil!"

"Men are pigs!"
by Jordandijinz0rz January 31, 2005
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brokh

The utter destruction of something. Similar to SCHMEEESCH!
That bar code printer is about to get the brokhing of a lifetime.
by Jordandijinz0rz October 31, 2004
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dorot

Crazy word said by a certain Spaniard. Meaning unknown.
Me: Uda how you be today do are?

Uda: DOROT DOT!

Me: Very good is.
by Jordandijinz0rz October 31, 2004
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