16 definition by Jordandijinz0rz

Top Definition
A Russian "Anti Virus" solution commonly mocked due to being very stereotypical. For instance, before the virus protection will protect your computer from infections, you must first earn its respect. Otherwise, the only option you can select when dealing with a virus is "Ignore". It is still unknown how one must go about "earning its respect".

Kaspersky is also known for not only removing viruses, but "Crushing" them or "Obliterating" them. Instead of quarantining a virus, Kaspersky sends the virus to the Gulag where it serves 20 years hard labor breaking rocks in Siberia.

Kaspersky's company slogan is "In Soviet Russia, virus scanner scan YOU".

Kaspersky Anti Virus is often criticized when a virus is found that becomes unremovable. Instead of letting the virus win, Kaspersky will automatically blow up your computer so nobody wins, because, according to Kaspersky, "It is much more desirable for both Kaspersky and virus to lose, than for virus to win".

There have been reports recently stating that Kaspersky Anti Virus actually puts viruses on your computer, and then acts like its doing YOU a favor when it removes them. This is a particularly big problem if you have not earned Kaspersky's respect yet.

Kaspersky Anti Virus is rumored to be releasing a firewall solution in the coming months. Instead of simply being a firewall, though, it will be an iron curtain that puts satellite computers around yours, forming a virus buffer zone.
Kaspersky Anti Virus is the most untrusted name in virus protection.
by Jordandijinz0rz January 25, 2009

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Putting your hands down a female's pants upon meeting her, as opposed to the normal method of handshaking.
Juan Manuel Ecuadorian Handshaked that girl and now she hates him forever. AWW DUUUDDEE AWWWWWWW

Ecuadorian Handshake does not a friend make!
by Jordandijinz0rz November 05, 2009

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Choosing to remain uninformed because the marginal cost of obtaining the information is higher than the marginal benefit of knowing it.

Commonly practiced by hicks that don't wish to change their point of views about ANYTHING.
"All dem blackies wanna do is steal turnips outta mah garden!"

"Those Muslims and Hin-don'ts are the devil!"

"Men are pigs!"
by Jordandijinz0rz January 31, 2005

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The level of which you give a shit. Usually accompanied by a hand motion to physically show how high the level is.
Phil: Did I tell you guys about how in my calculus class, the teacher said that the cosine of pi is actually not equvialent to the derivative of the tangent line?

Me: Care Level: |
by Jordandijinz0rz October 30, 2004

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A bathroom, or, if you're a real man, a tree or Jordan's car.
I am going to go use the urination station parked in front of Jordan's house.
by Jordandijinz0rz October 31, 2004

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Fancy schmancy way of writing SHIT.
I'm gonna beat the shit out of you if you write 5#!+ one more time, Jordan.
by Jordandijinz0rz October 30, 2004

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A roasted vaginal fart, obviously.
Mary Jane Rotten Crotch served roast queef for dinner.
by Jordandijinz0rz March 22, 2005

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