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Jockanese Breakfast 

Jockanese Breakfast: Pronounced "(/dʒɑkənɛs/'bɹɛkfəst/ )" is a typical Scottish dish usually served in place of a typical British fry up. It is most commonly found in the anvil of the British Empire aka Glesga aka GLASGOW and is the only thing that unites Rangers fans and Celtic fans.

A Jockanese Breakfast is like cereal in that it is eaten out of a bowl with a spoon and has that crunchyness to it. Before we get into the recipe, do not give it to any Sassanach for the English will grandslam everywhere after a few bottles of bucky It consists of:
Hundreds of 10mg Diazepam blues
Buckfast, Kestrel or Skol (or all 3 if you're a true Scotsman) in place of milk
OPTIONAL: Heroin dust but you'll be that munted from all the other shite you won't need it; besides, it is best to save it and stretch it out till dole day.
"HO, hae ye seen mah bus ticket? am needin' it tae gang tae jobcentre tae git mah bru sae ah kin git mah jockanese breakfast doon me"
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