Jesus, The

A sexual position in which the male stands behind the female, firmly holds her wrists, penetrates her from behind, and lifts her up, using the motion of his hips to pull out and push in. Two women can use a strap-on dildo to accomplish this.

Extreme caution should be exercised to avoid unwanted anal penetration.

Both heterosexual and homosexual couples can use this for anal sex if they have adequately prepared for the experience and applied sufficient lubrication.

This position has little use other than for novelty or comedy value and should not be sprung upon your partner without advance warning.

Man: "Hey, want to try 'The Jesus' to spice up our sex life?"
Woman: "Sure, how does that go?"
Man: "Here, let me show you"
(Penetrates her, lifts here up, and begins humping with her feet several inches off the ground)
Woman: "Oh Jesus, I think you just dislocated both of my shoulders"

Jesus, The by GWBBQ March 2, 2005

Jesus, the Multiplier

When you allow Jesus’ favor, wisdom, and power to grow your small or insignificant beginnings, just as He took a boy’s “five loaves and two fish” to multiplying them to feed five thousand-odd people.

Be it your career, business, or relationship, let Jesus, the multiplier, be part of the little you have, and witness His power in multiplying them beyond your dream or imagination.

Jesus, the Multiplier by MathPlus December 15, 2018

Jesus take the wheel 

When things go awry. When you can no longer take whats happening around you so you ask for the higher power Jesus to take the wheel.

Oh i just cant take this anymore Jesus take the wheel!

Jesus take the wheel by Toffeebarz February 27, 2014

Calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone 

The act of clinging to a toilet basin throwing up violently after a heavy night of binge drinking.

So named after the fashion of sticking your head into the bowl and shouting the name of our Lord between spasms.

BLEURGH!!! Oh Jesus, BLEEEHHRRRK!!! Oh Lord, BLOOOORGH!!!! Aw Christ, HUUUUUEEEEEEERRRRGH!!!!! etc

Calling Jesus on the porcelain telephone by ..WiL May 24, 2005

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints 

The Reinstated Preferred name for Mormons as of October 2018.

Person 1: Hey... You're a Mormon!
Person 2: *Sigh* No... We are Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints by FungusHughMungus October 29, 2018

Jesus Take The Wheel 

Psalm 55:22
Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved.

Jesus Take The Wheel !!!!! My burdens are overwhelming and it doesn't seem like I'll ever catch up. I feel the pain of stress, hurt and setbacks. Strengthen me to stand up knowing you are always with me.

Jesus Take The Wheel by Just Me str8 up August 9, 2015

jesus the bum 

one of the many legendary bums of hoboken, nj. he gets his name from his tall, lanky appearance, and having hair and a beard as long as to resemble jesus christ himself. he is usually found wandering around the palisades (a.k.a the trails) or seen loitering around the mcdonalds on 3rd and washington st. rumours have it that his first name is "bob" and he totally lost it from an overdose of scooby doo acid back in the seventies.

eeyyyoo, you know where jesus the bum at? we want to get some booze from mohammed's.

nah, but i know mark the bum is down by cvs doing his shit

jesus the bum by rickrock May 26, 2008