Jack off all trades

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A dilettante with tools; someone who thinks they can fix lots of things, but actually hacks the job. A homeowner who tries to handle all aspects of home repair, but has no skills.

Also used as a verb.

Noun: Bob really spends a lot of time on projects, but nothing works. He's a Jack off all trades.

Verb: I just like buy all the best tools, but really I just jack off all trades.

Jack off all trades by clayshingle February 13, 2010

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Jack off all Trades

Someone who's so easy to get in bed with, they'll jack you off for basically anything.

"Jared's a total Jack off all Trades, I said I'd get him McDonalds if he blew me, and man did he enjoy those McNuggets."

Jack off all Trades by ToastonBeans April 12, 2023

Jack off all trades

A person who does not use profession as criteria for choosing sexual partners

- How'd you swing that? I thought Jane only fucked above a certain income bracket.

Naa man, she's a jack off all trades

Jack off all trades by michaelstripe December 12, 2007

Word of the Day on February 12, 2010

jackoff all trades

An individual claiming proficiency for every task presenting itself, anywhere. He is neither schooled nor proficient beyond the ability to claim such.

An individual whose continued claims at ability are immediately discounted upon attempt.

"Dave says he'll fix my brakes, file my taxes, upgrade my computer, and save me a bundle! And he's gonna read my fortune, win Lisa back, and get me promoted!"

"Dude, Dave's an divorced, unemployed dog groomer. Don't let him touch your shit... Guy's a jackoff all trades."

jackoff all trades by 3sqzper January 5, 2009

Jackoff all trades

"Dave says he'll fix my brakes, file my taxes, upgrade my computer, and save me a bundle! And he's gonna read my fortune, win Lisa back, and get me promoted!"

"Dude, Dave's a divorced, unemployed dog groomer. Don't let him touch your shit... Guy's a jackoff all trades."

Jackoff all trades by 3sqzper July 21, 2008

Jackoff of all trades

Somebody who believes that they can multitask, but in attempting many different endeavors, fails at all or most of them. A failed polymath. An incompetent, wannabe rennaissance man.

"Dude thinks he's the jack of all trades. He screwed up the math on the cash register, he can't speak spanish for shit, and after he tried to tune up my car, I had to take it in and spend $200 bucks before it would start again. He's the jackoff of all trades."

Jackoff of all trades by Hank the Monster October 18, 2009

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life

A moment in time where you feel distinctly Chinese over all other things.

Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life by Sus Chad September 21, 2026

Word of the Day on September 25, 2026

crunchy

Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.

"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"

crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007

Word of the Day on September 24, 2026

Galantir

A group of people, typically women, searching through someone’s digital footprint in order to find more information about that person.

Susie wasn’t sure if her new Hinge match was a creep, so she assembled Galantir and they found out he used to post slurs on gaming forums.

Galantir by Ge-sus September 22, 2026

Word of the Day on September 23, 2026

murderhobo

In a tabletop game, a murderhobo is a player who murders NPCs indiscriminately. This is normally derogatory, referring to a player who totally ignores quests, dialog, backstory, trade, world building etc.

The term is most common with Dungeons and Dragons, but it can be applied to most RPGs where the player is allowed to kill most quest-giving NPCs and NPC traders. E.g. Elder Scrolls, Fallout, Divinity original sin.

DM: The sad little orphan girl tugs at Steve's trenchcoat to get his attention, and ask for help saving her pet dog from...
Steve: I'd like to roll a strength check against strangling the orphan.
Dave: I call dibs on the dog.
DM: You murderhobos disgust me.

murderhobo by Loup&S September 9, 2021

Word of the Day on September 22, 2026