The closeted virgin's analog to a gay person's "in the closet". "Crawl space" because it's an even smaller and oft forgotten room in the house, thus being a virgin is even more ignoble than being gay. Also apt for virgins because "crawl" is descriptive of a virgin's infant state of sexuality.
Cal: You know, Andy just spent ten minutes telling me how he spent all Friday night making egg salad, because he had a craving for an egg salad sandwich.
Jay: That's weird man, cause what's a guy doin' making egg salad on a Friday night? Aw crap! You think he's a virgin?!! You think he's...in the crawl space?!
when you're holding up your phone and making faces at it, as though you are taking a selfie, but you're really taking a picture of the person across from you or the wall or anything else that seems interesting but you don't want to be caught dead taking a picture of.
This action is often made more convincing by wiggling the eyebrows or opening the mouth, to pretend you're trying to get a Snapchat filter to work.
FRIEND A: "Did you just take a stealthie of me?"
FRIEND B (turning phone around): "no I was just using snapchat's new filter, see?"