The closeted virgin's analog to a gay person's "in the closet". "Crawl space" because it's an even smaller and oft forgotten room in the house, thus being a virgin is even more ignoble than being gay. Also apt for virgins because "crawl" is descriptive of a virgin's infant state of sexuality.
Cal: You know, Andy just spent ten minutes telling me how he spent all Friday night making egg salad, because he had a craving for an egg salad sandwich.
Jay: That's weird man, cause what's a guy doin' making egg salad on a Friday night? Aw crap! You think he's a virgin?!! You think he's...in the crawl space?!
Fogey/fogy /fougi/ sl. (early 18C+, orig. Scot) old-fashioned, stuck-in-the mud.
Person with old fashioned ideas which he is unwilling to change: Come to the disco and stop being such an old fogey!
You think me an old fogeyand an old tory, his thoughtful voice said. I saw three generations since O’Connel’s time. I remember the famine. Do you know that the orange lodges agitated for repeal of the union twenty years before O’Connel did or before the prelates of your communion denounced him as a demagogue? You fenians forget some things. (James Joyce, Ulysses. PenguinBooks,1992. p. 38)