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I spiked the punch! 

An expression that is used when someone is at a party and they add an alcoholic beverage to the punch bowl so everyone at the party gets tipsy or drunk.
"Damn! Who spiked the punch? Im feeling kind of tipsy."

I'm going to drive a railroad spike through my skull 

A phrase often said after a friend or loved one has said something so incredibly so atrocious you would feel better off just not being there.

Often used in place of phrases like "Shut the fuck up" "That was the dumbest thing I've ever heard" and "You are a disappointment."
Beta: "That's pretty poggers!"

Schligma: "I'm going to drive a railroad spike through my skull."