Ham-Hand 

When an individual either male or female is too intoxicated or in an excessively impaired mental state that prevents them from properly performing the act of masturbation upon themselves or another person.

"I was trying to beat off last night and I drank so much fucking robitussin and rubbing alcohol that I wound up just socking myself in the nuts instead, I totally ham-handed that one."

Ham-Hand by mikiter September 9, 2013

Two Hand Ham Twister 

The Two Hand Ham Twister (THHT) is an advanced form of head in which the one giving head has one hand on the base of the dick and one hand near the top and twists them in opposite directions back and forth while simultaneously moving both hands up and down in sync with each other and the mouth giving the head. This type of head requires a considerable amount of lubrication and skill and it is also the type of head Simon is receiving.

"bro I got a Two Hand Ham Twister from my girl last night, that shit made me nut in 30 seconds"

Two Hand Ham Twister by Slangslammer9000 October 12, 2019

Ham Hands 

A person with massive hands that are best suited for squeezing or destroying things

"Hey Ham Hands, come squeeze the shit out of these limes for me."

"Dude, those ham hands were made for destruction. You should have been a Viking or something like that."

Ham Hands by The TOB March 10, 2010

Ham handlers 

The hand like hooves of an obese person. Often including an opposable digit. To aid in the handling of hams, or the operation of mobility scooters.

Look at at the ham handlers on that! She really looks like she knows how to handle a ham.

Ham handlers by Escobar Marineros August 27, 2020

ham-hands

the uncontrolable desire of masturbating with a glazed porkroast

Watch out sir, he's got the ham-hands today...

ham-hands by James Corvarse January 19, 2005

ham handshake 

when two girls slap they titties together

u see those girls goin in on that ham handshake

ham handshake by coolguydantheman January 4, 2017

Ham Handed 

Being clumsy when handling things...moving things...setting them down, etc....Knocking things over, spilling things, dropping things.

I went to move my bowl of tomato soup, I caught my finger on the edge of the countertop, and spilled my soul all over the floor....I don't believe how Ham Handed I've been lately.

Ham Handed by I made the man December 13, 2024