When an individual either male or female is too intoxicated or in an excessively impaired mental state that prevents them from properly performing the act of masturbation upon themselves or another person.
"I was trying to beat off last night and I drank so much fucking robitussin and rubbing alcohol that I wound up just socking myself in the nuts instead, I totally ham-handed that one."
by mikiter September 09, 2013
"Hey Ham Hands, come squeeze the shit out of these limes for me."
"Dude, those ham hands were made for destruction. You should have been a Viking or something like that."
"Dude, those ham hands were made for destruction. You should have been a Viking or something like that."
by The TOB March 10, 2010
by James Corvarse January 20, 2005
The Two Hand Ham Twister (THHT) is an advanced form of head in which the one giving head has one hand on the base of the dick and one hand near the top and twists them in opposite directions back and forth while simultaneously moving both hands up and down in sync with each other and the mouth giving the head. This type of head requires a considerable amount of lubrication and skill and it is also the type of head Simon is receiving.
by Slangslammer9000 October 12, 2019
Being clumsy when handling things...moving things...setting them down, etc....Knocking things over, spilling things, dropping things.
I went to move my bowl of tomato soup, I caught my finger on the edge of the countertop, and spilled my soul all over the floor....I don't believe how Ham Handed I've been lately.
by I made the man December 13, 2024