Sugar free gummy bears are the reason your asswill turn into a brown Niagara falls. After eating about 20 of them all hell broke loose in my bowels. In my bowels, something was happening that I never imagined could have happened to me. Sweating, cramps, bloating. I've ate Indian curry, and the end result was like smelling daisies in a meadow compared to the end result of eating sugar free gummy bears. Then came the flatulence, DEAR GOD THE FLATULENCE. The sounds were like trumpets calling demons from the pit of hell. The stench was worse than that of a thousand rotting corpses. One more minute in that bathroom and I would have died of choking on my own putrid fumes. What came out of me felt like someone trying to funnel Niagara falls through a coffee straw. AND IT LASTED FOR HOURS. I felt so violated when it was over.
Dude 1: I just ate some sugar free gummy bears, and they wur pretty good.
Dude 2: You are going to be in the bathroom for a long, long time Dude 1: No I'm not
*one hour later*
Dude 1's asshole: *water fall sounds*
Dude 1: OH GOD WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The best-tasting super-laxative on the fucking planet. Will efficiently evacuate any fecal matter you have had in your bowels for the past five years. WARNING: MUST BE TAKEN IN SMALL DOSES. An overdose has been known to leave a 250-pound manly-man crying on the bathroom floor. Be careful.
Constipated Man: Hey, I'm plugged up. Can I get some Haribo Sugarfree Gummy Bears?
His Buddy: Yeah, here's a bag. Don't forget to only have a few.
Constipated Man: (Proceeds to eat entire 8-ounce bag)
TWO HOURS LATER
Constipated Man: (Laying on the floor crying) OMFG SATAN OPENED A PORTAL TO HELL IN MY ASS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A sexual act which takes place in a swamp, where a really fat guy wearing a baseball cap ass-rapes a scene boy and force-feeds him gummy bears through his eye sockets.
Old fat guy: "See that kid over there? I gave him a Louisiana Gummybear, if you get what I'm saying..." *wink wink*
A chewy, delicious phenomenon that makes your heart and belly smile no matter what mood you are in.
Best eaten head first!
The tasty love of your life.
GREEN is yummiest of them all!
Oh, I'm a Gummybear!
Yes I'm a Gummybear!
Oh, I'm a yummy, chummy, funny, lucky, Gummybear!
I am a jelly bear, 'cause I'm a Gummybear!
Oh I'm a movin', groovin', jammin', singin' Gummybear!