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guided masturbation

To have someone tell you what to do when you’re touching yourself. They control your movements and direct you on what exactly to do in order to cum.
Jerry and I were having phone sex and we decided to do guided masturbation on me.
guided masturbation by ribbit January 28, 2019
Related Words

guided by voices 

Possibly the greatest rock band of all time.
One of the great lo-fi bands along with Pavement and Sebadoh, and like Pavement, moved on to hi-fi greatness with the production of several brilliant albums such as Isolation Drills. The ultimate GBV experience can be had by putting on the best album of the 90's, Bee Thousand.
Bob Pollard's voice wasn't so great, but it worked magnificently with the Guided By Voices sound!
guided by voices by the fro October 10, 2005
High. (as in, marijuana).
That girl is so guiged, she thinks you can invent fire shooting for your fingertips!!
Guiged by DingusBreavisJungleheart August 26, 2010

Guided Missile

A word derived from the expressions used in Jersey Shore such as "grenade" "bomb" and "tank". It is used to describe when an ugly ass girl starts to like you due to unintentionally giving her the wrong message by being too nice, friendly etc... A very unwanted situation indeed. The name is derived from the fact that like an actual guided missile the girl starts to follow you around, flirt with you etc.
*to le ugly girl*

Joe: (unassuming) "Hey I like your hair today!"

Caitylin: "Oh thank you ;)"

*Joe now has a guided missile*
Guided Missile by al3jandro November 17, 2011

guided crackhead

A crackhead (or other person of violent, irrational behavior, such as a crystal meth addict) who is intentionally given information as to where a particularly choice/valuable target may available by theft or armed robbery. The implicitly or explicitly intended victim, however, may be someone who it is known will be home at the time of the assault, to be disposed of before the valuables are taken. In this manner the crackhead is used as a 'fire-and-forget' weapon, like a guided missile.
Having grown tired of her middle-manager-husband's extramarital shenanigans, Mrs. Lane set a guided crackhead on him, and then raked in a significant insurance haul while she played up the "grieving widow" publicly.
guided crackhead by DoomRooster February 4, 2008
Pooping yourself.
Oh fuck, I guaced myself
guaced by Bernie jewboyski May 9, 2016
More from Urban Dictionary

Slop Grenade

When someone uses AI to generate a large document, slide deck, or piece of code/software and tosses it over the fence for you to deal with.
Chad: Hey Brent I sent you the new backend API change to review, it’s only 100 files changed.

Brent: he just tossed me a slop grenade
Slop Grenade by Joe Squid September 28, 2026
Word of the Day on September 29, 2026
Short-hand for the word floccinaucinihilipilification, meaning the estimation of something as valueless (encountered mainly as an example of one of the longest words in the English language).
After we broke up, he was floxi to me.
floxi by Dr. Geek May 13, 2009
Word of the Day on September 28, 2026
NYC people who migrate north to Quahog, RI to see the leaves in the fall.
New York and everyone from there can fornicate themselves with an iron stick.
leafers by ss++ February 8, 2005
Word of the Day on September 27, 2026

Respectfully 

Precedes or follows either a gratuitously disrespectful or honest remark, originated in New York City. Used in similar fashion to "no offense" or "to be honest," interchangeably.
Ya mans is wild buns, respectfully. Respectfully he's washed.

After school, The Modells on Jamaica Ave was active. Respectfully.
Respectfully by john quan the first December 20, 2020
Word of the Day on September 26, 2026

You met me at a very Chinese time in my life

A moment in time where you feel distinctly Chinese over all other things.
Dante: "I wish I could be Nigerian, but I can't because I'm Chinese. You met me at a very Chinese time in my life."
Word of the Day on September 25, 2026
Adjective. Used to describe persons who have adjusted or altered their lifestyle for environmental reasons. Crunchy persons tend to be politically strongly left-leaning and may be additionally but not exclusively categorized as vegetarians, vegans, eco-tarians, conservationists, environmentalists, neo-hippies, tree huggers, nature enthusiasts, etc.

Also used to describe establishments where alternative foods and products are sold, i.e. natural food stores.

Modified derivative of granola.
"I need more crunchy guys in my life. I'm so tired of dating preppy metrosexual assholes."

"I'm heading out to the crunchy store to pick up some fair trade chocolate and tea tree oil, do you need anything?"
crunchy by EBC July 11, 2007
Word of the Day on September 24, 2026
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