Skip to main content

guided masturbation

Share definition Flag
To have someone tell you what to do when you’re touching yourself. They control your movements and direct you on what exactly to do in order to cum.
Jerry and I were having phone sex and we decided to do guided masturbation on me.
guided masturbation by ribbit January 28, 2019
Related Words

guided by voices 

Share definition Flag
Possibly the greatest rock band of all time.
One of the great lo-fi bands along with Pavement and Sebadoh, and like Pavement, moved on to hi-fi greatness with the production of several brilliant albums such as Isolation Drills. The ultimate GBV experience can be had by putting on the best album of the 90's, Bee Thousand.
Bob Pollard's voice wasn't so great, but it worked magnificently with the Guided By Voices sound!
guided by voices by the fro October 10, 2005

Guiged 

Share definition Flag
High. (as in, marijuana).
That girl is so guiged, she thinks you can invent fire shooting for your fingertips!!

Guided Missile

Share definition Flag
A word derived from the expressions used in Jersey Shore such as "grenade" "bomb" and "tank". It is used to describe when an ugly ass girl starts to like you due to unintentionally giving her the wrong message by being too nice, friendly etc... A very unwanted situation indeed. The name is derived from the fact that like an actual guided missile the girl starts to follow you around, flirt with you etc.
*to le ugly girl*

Joe: (unassuming) "Hey I like your hair today!"

Caitylin: "Oh thank you ;)"

*Joe now has a guided missile*
Guided Missile by al3jandro November 17, 2011

guided crackhead

Share definition Flag
A crackhead (or other person of violent, irrational behavior, such as a crystal meth addict) who is intentionally given information as to where a particularly choice/valuable target may available by theft or armed robbery. The implicitly or explicitly intended victim, however, may be someone who it is known will be home at the time of the assault, to be disposed of before the valuables are taken. In this manner the crackhead is used as a 'fire-and-forget' weapon, like a guided missile.
Having grown tired of her middle-manager-husband's extramarital shenanigans, Mrs. Lane set a guided crackhead on him, and then raked in a significant insurance haul while she played up the "grieving widow" publicly.
guided crackhead by DoomRooster February 4, 2008

guaced 

Share definition Flag
Pooping yourself.
Oh fuck, I guaced myself
guaced by Bernie jewboyski May 9, 2016
More from Urban Dictionary

Pink Cloud

Share definition Flag
12 step recovery jargon referring to someone new who talks about how great life is, now that they're sober. Usually meaning that the person is out of touch with reality.
The new guy seems pretty happy for a dude who has no job, no money and no family. He must be on a pink cloud.
Pink Cloud by toniwithaneye November 24, 2006
Word of the Day on August 18, 2026

Dotard 

Share definition Flag
An aging individual who has long lost the ability to make rational sense.
That dotard is going to get us all blown up, if he doesn't calm down .
Dotard by anonymous September 22, 2017
Word of the Day on August 17, 2026

Chancla

Share definition Flag
The deadliest weapon known to a Latin kid; a flying slipper/ flip-flop.
My mom hit me with a chancla.
Chancla by TardisBae October 31, 2014
Word of the Day on August 16, 2026

Striver 

Share definition Flag
The striver is an interesting phenomenon that is seen across college campuses. In essence, the striver is an over-achiever who comes from a working or middle class family. He may be an immigrant. He may have been a slacker in HS who was "born again" into an academic wunderkind. Or he may just be an over-achiever who is keeping at it.

The striver is willing to sacrifice his social life at the expense of Phi Beta Kappa and Summa Cum Laude. The striver is the guy who stays at the library long after you are gone. The striver is the guy who takes 30 credits/semester and considers anything below an A/4.0 failure. The striver doesn't work on campus, he is too busy finding ways to pad his resume instead of working retail or workstudy. The striver lets his grades pay his education by applying to ten scholarships a year.

The striver is a future Soros/Fullbright/Rhodes/Gates/Marshall/etc. fellow. The striver lives to study. For the striver, their fun comes from the rewards they expect to receive in return for their diligence. Be it Law School, B-School, academia, or politics. The striver seeks to find the American Dream through academic success.
Anthony was a striver. He transfered from a TTT to an IVY and graduated in 2 years. He studied his ass off and went to Penn Law. He got a Biglaw offer. But lost it all because of an unmoderated mesasgeboard.

Successful strivers:
- Barack Obama
- Harold Koh
Striver by URM Striver January 3, 2009
Word of the Day on August 15, 2026

SkyPesos 

Share definition Flag
Delta SkyMiles, also known as SkyPesos, is the frequent flyer program of Delta Airlines. It has a very poor value and hard to use.
- I'm trying to book an award flight to Paris, but I only have 70,000 SkyPesos
- Just forget about it, you don't have enough SkyPesos to fly anywhere.
SkyPesos by 404_name_not_found December 6, 2018
Word of the Day on August 14, 2026

Quiche Peanemis

Share definition Flag
Quirky niche peak cinema analysis
It describes the analysis of a media piece which is quirky and niche, yet peak.
Give me the quiche peanemis on the movie I missed.
Quiche Peanemis by Mushroom2241 June 17, 2026
Word of the Day on August 13, 2026
Next