After a night of sucking in your farts for 6 hours on your first date, the first 30 minutes post-date generate farts that would pique the interest of a seismologist.
M: Dude I just got back from my date and I have a serious case of the first date farts.
"Holy crap"
"What?"
"You know Mike right?"
"Yes"
"Well I told him U of M rules and the Spartans stink."
"Why are you limping?"
"Well um. I got Fist fucked in the fart box, dry. No lube"
"AWE SICK!"...and you let him"
"I DIDNT HAVE A CHOICE, he loves the Spartans, he went full psycho."