When you hate your job so much that you pretend to take a poo when all your doing is playing on your phone.
by Oh Throbert March 29, 2015
Get the Faux Poo mug.The strategic act of retreating to the bathroom and sitting on the toilet, not out of physiological necessity, but to create a physical and social barrier against needy family members, partners, or pets. It is a desperate survival tactic used to secure a brief window of silence, scroll through a phone, or simply stare at a wall without being asked for a snack, a toy, or "where the remote is".
I could see the chaos brewing in the living room between the toddler’s meltdown and the dog’s incessant whining, so I told everyone I had a 'stomach bug' and went for a twenty-minute faux poo just to hear my own thoughts.
by Schmoople_1998 March 30, 2026
Get the Faux Poo mug.1. noun. a fart that accidentally slips out in an embarrassing situation.
2. noun. a fart that is intentionally released but exhibits the owner's poor sense of social etiquette.
3. noun. a really bad fart that is more closely described as a fake shit; only missing the solid matter.
2. noun. a fart that is intentionally released but exhibits the owner's poor sense of social etiquette.
3. noun. a really bad fart that is more closely described as a fake shit; only missing the solid matter.
Oh my God, did someone step in something or was that a faux-poo?
Can you believe Cindy's faux-poo during church?
Can you believe Cindy's faux-poo during church?
by Scubadubadog January 13, 2008
Get the faux-poo mug.When your dog takes a crap in someone's yard and you don't have a baggie, but you bend over and pretend to be picking it up in case they are looking out the window at you.
"Man, your dog just took a wicked shit in Ted's yard. He's gonna be pissed."
"That's okay, I'll just do the old faux poop scoop in case he's watching."
"That's okay, I'll just do the old faux poop scoop in case he's watching."
by FireMannyActa September 5, 2009
Get the Faux poop scoop mug.1. verb. to fart under embarrassing conditions.
2. verb. to release a fart that has an incredible stench. (literally a false poop.)
2. verb. to release a fart that has an incredible stench. (literally a false poop.)
by Scubadubadog January 13, 2008
Get the faux-pood mug.To be fashionably poor.
Middle classes feigning poverty despite large ammounts of reserve cash i.e. ISA's, stocks and/or bonds in the vain attempt to follow a perceived fashion in poverty caused by the recent credit crunch.
Conspicuous consumption whilst pleading poverty.
Using the recent credit crunch as an excuse for not donating to charity or buying from doorstep salespeople.
Dining at "lesser" resteraunts proclaiming loudly how much you can only afford the cheaper menu items and how you won't be ordering a starter.
Middle classes feigning poverty despite large ammounts of reserve cash i.e. ISA's, stocks and/or bonds in the vain attempt to follow a perceived fashion in poverty caused by the recent credit crunch.
Conspicuous consumption whilst pleading poverty.
Using the recent credit crunch as an excuse for not donating to charity or buying from doorstep salespeople.
Dining at "lesser" resteraunts proclaiming loudly how much you can only afford the cheaper menu items and how you won't be ordering a starter.
Typical faux-poor conversation
Waiter: "That will be a total of £240.73 for a meal for two sir, would you like like to a gratuity to your American Express Platinum Card?"
Faux-Poor reply: "...no I would not like to add a service tip to my credit card! can't you see I'm broke?"
Waiter: "That will be a total of £240.73 for a meal for two sir, would you like like to a gratuity to your American Express Platinum Card?"
Faux-Poor reply: "...no I would not like to add a service tip to my credit card! can't you see I'm broke?"
by mickee1473 April 27, 2009
Get the faux-poor mug.