Schmoople_1998's definitions

Faux Poo

The strategic act of retreating to the bathroom and sitting on the toilet, not out of physiological necessity, but to create a physical and social barrier against needy family members, partners, or pets. It is a desperate survival tactic used to secure a brief window of silence, scroll through a phone, or simply stare at a wall without being asked for a snack, a toy, or "where the remote is".

I could see the chaos brewing in the living room between the toddler’s meltdown and the dog’s incessant whining, so I told everyone I had a 'stomach bug' and went for a twenty-minute faux poo just to hear my own thoughts.

by Schmoople_1998 March 30, 2026