I was at Jersey
Mike's on my lunch
break, and sitting one
table over I see this guy wearing a New
England Patriots
Tebow jersey, and I'm like oh Lord keep me from doing what I'm about to do, and I look at my half eaten chicken parm, and I look over at Chowder stuffing his face with bread and mayo, and I look back to my chicken parm, and I look back at Tebow, and I ask God for strength, but Chowder starts choking and hacks out a thick, rattly cough, and doesn't cover his mouth, and it's like I leave my own goddam corporeal being and watch as a hand not my own picks up the parm, and a body not my own rises, walks over to Tebow, yells "Cover your fucking mouth next
time," and slaps the parm down on his sandwich. Suddenly returned to my self, I shout, "You just got fucking DUKED" raise my arms, and walk out. Best fucking duking of my life.