Dinuguan is an idea of Lapu-Lapu.
He saw Magellan's
big muscles, along with the Spaniards' big cannons. Seeing the size of his enemies, Lapu-Lapu wanted to have a potent
pre-battle meal to spike up the morale of his warriors.
Lapu-Lapu ordered his top tribe chefs to devise a meal which was dark as
death, reminding his warriors of the blood bath which
will happen
next.
Dinuguan was then invented! Lapu-Lapu's warriors were told that this is a meal made out of the blood of rival warriors, which caused them to behave like a bunch of howling
NFL quarterbacks with war
paint striped on their
cheeks as they ate it.
The rest is
history.
Lapu-Lapu brought his most pissed off, biggest, baddest Mactan mothe--uck--s to stomp the sh-- out of the conquistadors'.
The Spaniards fought with their helmets, steel breastplates, swords, shields, muskets, blackpowder and crossbows but they were simply no match for the
pure whoopa** which was unleashed by the Island natives who were only armed with G-strings, Krises, Bows, Arrows & Bamboo/wooden spears.
The Spaniards were at loss to the uselessness of their armors, as the natives kept murking them on the legs.
When Lapu-Lapu found Magellan, his first strike on him sent dozens and dozens of cutlasses, spears and scimitars raining upon him as the nearby warriors
death showered Magellan to kingdom come.
Today, you can now relive this heroism by eating dinuguan. Bon Appétit! Breakfast of champions!