Dick Straightener 

The ability to hit someone with such great force that it causes them to get an instant erection.

Coach Mitch- "Holy cow that was a garsh darn good hit!"

Coach Stew- "That kid right there is a dick straightener!"

Coach Mitch- "Easy.."

Dick Straightener by CoachStew February 17, 2010

straighter than a honeymoon dick

A)The assumption is that if you are a good, decent, god-fearing, American man, you will have waited to fornicate with a woman until after your wedding/(start of honeymoon). At which point your Johnson will be fucking ready to go... pretty much anything straighter than that.

B)a phrase most often heard from douche-bag male golfers, who mutter it under their breath in frustrated confusion after slamming the ball totally through the break of their given line while putting.

A)"All's I'm saying is there are some guys you just don't have to question, for instance Chuck Norris is 'straighter than a honeymoon dick'"

B)Caddie: You can sink this one Rmull I'm sure the line is a cup on the left.
(golfer putts and misses a cup on the left)
Douchebag: "Your fired! (now grumbling) Fucking putt was straighter than a honeymoon dick.

straighter than a honeymoon dick by Stubalove July 1, 2011