Detextive 

The morning after a hard night of partying when one has to go through their text messages and piece together the activities from the night before. Taking the text clues and putting together what happened.

"Dude! I have to do some detextive work, I woke up this morning with a naked picture from a stranger!"

"After some detextive work I realized I slept in a bush for 2 hours and then walked to Rite-Aid alone."

Detextive by Furk Busch May 26, 2009

Detextive 

A current or former partner who makes a regular habit of going through you’re phone, specifically your texts while your sleeping in order to find something incriminating to use against you. They may be inclined to even steal your phone, log in to your online account and use gaslighting as a way to satisfy their need to be in control. This is a toxic behavior, not to be fooled with anything cute or meaningful. It’s a decision derived from a pre existing desire to be a drama queen and cause a fight when they have no actual reason to do so.

I woke up this morning in my man’s arms he so sexy.. until I realized he wasn’t lookin at me. Mother f***** had been on his detextive shit again reading my convos with my momma. He didn’t know I was awake tho, and when he came at me for my mamma “hating him and our love” I asked his detextive ass if he’s sayin that cuz he talked to her? Or because he was readin my shit at 7 a.m like a paranoid lil man child.

I slapped him in the mouf and called mamma.

Detextive by Textbomber October 10, 2021

Detextive 

Someone who has a keen ability to decipher, decrypt or determine the root meaning, motive or intention of a text message regardless if the sender is being vague, sarcastic or deceptive.

Example:

Guy: "What are you going to do on your day off today? The usual Fruit Ninja, Trolling on Tik Tok or binge watch Jeffree Star tutorials?"

Girl: "Are you trying to be funny?"

Guy: "Obv 😂"

Girl: "Well it's hard to detect sarcasm over text"

Guy: "Unless you are a Detextive"

Detextive by The Nicholas Weston December 27, 2020

Private detective 

Junior grimes, or atleast what people refer to you as if you take illegal measures and unconventional means to accomplish a task such as cracking a case on infidelity or murder, it’s a reference the well known private detective known as “gumshoe grimes” what the papers call junior grimes as he stuck to people when working cases.

someone who follows others and gather information on order to solve a case or situation which demands the investigators (junior) help is what a PI pretty much is...

Junior grimes however, takes this a STEP FURTHER though even that’s a major understatement. young and full of anger, he’s not exactly the calmest of detectives and uses what ever means necessary to solve the task even if it means sacrificing his own chance at a happy life and those around him for there’s no rest for grimes as the world needs him when any case goes unsolved.

Junior grimes aka “June wick” or “darnell grimes”

Private investigator give itself a good name when junior grimes matches with it.

Figure out what that means

“there’s no one that solves crimes like grimes”

___

Woman 1: omg my sisters missing

Woman 2: wait I know who to call

Woman 1: you do?

Junior grimes: what seems to be the problem?

Woman 1: it’s my sister!

Junior grimes: not to worry, for no one better to call then mr grimes!

Woman 2: see? I told you, he’s the best

Woman 1: wow

___

Junior grimes is the greatest private detective OF ALL TIME!!!!!!!!!!!

Private detective by Assassin technical institute September 6, 2021

Detective Mark Hoffman

A key character in the Saw franchise whom Jigsaw, aka John Kramer, appoints to carry on his work of "testing" people to see if they are worthy of life. He is brilliantly played by Costas Mandylor, whom many consider a rather underrated actor. Hoffman has a very cold personality, yet most don't see this when he portrays himself as a hard-working police officer, but behind that mask lies a killer hell bent on vengeance and filled with anger over the loss of his sister. Appears in Saw IV - VII.

Detective Mark Hoffman at the end of Saw V. His brutality is shown as he smiles while watching an FBI agent die one of the most gruesome deaths of all the Saw movies.

Detective Mark Hoffman by Josh Brovin December 12, 2012

Detective "Four Hoes" 

the guy who points out the obvious that everybody seems to miss at the moment. you can summon him by laying down a pack of cigarretes and a freshly polished Monster Energy Drink. leave the rest to him.

Guy1: Dude, where the fuck is Andrew? I can't seem to find him.
Detective "Four Hoes" : He shoots heroin in the kitchen. *Points to the kitchen door*

Detective "Four Hoes" by dumicarpacius October 11, 2021

goth detectives 

The mystery adventures of goths Bob Skeleton and Macabre de Coiffure (As played by Noel Fielding and Russell Brand). When the theme tune starts they run out of their coffins... weeelll not run, more like saunter. Goths don't run.

"The goth detectives can get the job done in 48 hours!"
"We could get it done quicker, if we weren't so bloody miserable!"

goth detectives by Naboo That's Who June 12, 2008