Deletation
About to perform a deletation
Deletation by Liamc920 September 12, 2020
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Faux Defecation
When one sits on the john for some amount of time before realizing they cannot release their fecal matter. The cause is sometimes constipation. However this is not always the case; the cause may be unknown. It is not uncommon for one to release gas during this period of time. Time elapsed before the epiphany varies greatly, experts suggest times from 1 minute all the way to a rare case in Japan in which the subject took over 27 hours (exact time is unknown). The mean is 11 minutes. The standard deviation, or σ, is approximately 7 minutes. Time does vary between species and sex.
(Whilst watching a football game)
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
John: Damn I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have a case of Faux Defecation
John: Brb, I gotta take a dump. *10 minutes later*
Henry: Dude wtf are you doing? You just missed Janet Jackson's boob!
John: Damn I can't shit!
Henry: Oh man, you must have a case of Faux Defecation
Faux Defecation by gingyman January 9, 2010
anti-defecation league
An organization dedicated to protecting non-terrorists who find themselves on government shit-lists.
Now that I have unfairly been added to a gubmint shit-list, the only place I can look for help from is the Anti-Defecation League.
anti-defecation league by LaughingAloud August 18, 2017
Total Delegation Meltdown
A disastrous event produced when the manager delegates every possible aspect of the planning to others who have real jobs and don't actually complete anything on schedule.
David go to Dublin this week? Who wouldn't want to go to Dublin?
Dude, none of the presentations were ready - there was a total delegation meltdown.
Dude, none of the presentations were ready - there was a total delegation meltdown.
Total Delegation Meltdown by PsychoPuppyDad October 4, 2011
Defecation of character
You: "Oh, man! Brittany just called me a ho on Facebook because I said I liked her crush."
Your friend: "Wow, that's defecation of character."
Your friend: "Wow, that's defecation of character."
Defecation of character by gingermom September 29, 2009
porn deletion syndrome
PDS: Primary symptoms include deletion of large quanitities of porn after masturbation, followed by feelings of regret, and the subsequent downloading of even more porn to compensate for the loss. The disease typically takes hold after a rapid influx of new porn into the computer system will lead it to reach a level of Critical Ass: a type of self-actualization crisis in which a guy realizes that he could have ran for Congress and won, attained Grandmaster status in chess, or even developed an effective treatment for PDS had he chosen to apply himself differently. At this point, most males enter into the final stage of the process after swearing that they will never watch another porn for the rest of their cursed lives. This "Renouncement Stage" typically lasts somewhere between the amount of time David Blaine stood on a pole without sleeping, and the time David Blaine spent in a water bubble shitting in a tube, and usually ends similarly with intense crying after realizing the beauty of humanity. Fear not my friends, we will find treatment, and by treatment, I mean we will find a way for you not to delete your favorite episode of "Barely Legal" when it is clearly still its prime.
porn deletion syndrome by the_aenima July 19, 2010