Comfeating 

Comfort Eating

UGHHHHH. I'm so stressed, I've been comfeating all day.

Comfeating by mehhhhhhheh December 13, 2016

Comforting Mrs. Rosen

Euphemism for sticking your dick where it doesn't belong.

Origin: Don Draper's explanation to his daughter, Sally, after she walked in on him sleeping with a neighbor.

Where have you been?

Oh, I was just comforting Mrs. Rosen.

All night long?

She was really upset.

Comforting Mrs. Rosen by pajiba June 10, 2013

status commenting 

procrastinating by logging on to facebook and commenting on everyone's updated statuses...levels of status commenting are directly proportional to the levels of work you are procrastinating from. extreme sufferers have to have the last word on facebook!

Dude, I got no work done today because i was status commenting.

status commenting by Katpaham February 13, 2009

compeating 

eating while being on your computer

Give me my laptop back. My food is ready and I want to be compeating while checking out the latest Black Crowes tour dates.

compeating by Theophilos July 28, 2010

Spam comments/spam commenting 

Commenting on social media’s like instagram and/or youtube that have nothing to do with the post or video,
Usually asking for likes

Duuude brad just commented “drop snap names tryna fill my map” it’s so annoying!
Yooo he’s just spam comments/spam commenting
Yooo he probably has ligma

Spam comments/spam commenting by Its_thecoolguy July 27, 2018

comforting a dead one 

Attempting to re-arouse an overused johnson

woman: shall we love? it is a special night afterall...

man: you can try but after all the self pleasuring ive just indulged in you would just be comforting a dead one

comforting a dead one by berrylads August 18, 2011

comforting snail 

The use of one's thumb to comfort someone when they are upset. The comforter applies their thumb in a comforting circular motion to the comfortee's upper arm, usually whilst saying "comforting snail" to avoid unnecessary confusion. The circular motion is created using the joint of the thumb - not the arm.
The concept is akin to "awkward turtle".

The level of comfort provided by comforting snail is very versatile and can be used in almost any situation. Avoid bereavements.

Charlotte: Ohh no i just dropped my fork!
Wendy: *Comforting snail*

comforting snail by Tnetennba:) June 30, 2011