clagnuts

small spherical lumps of matted faeces and arse hair, sometimes dangling on s single strand from the anus.

sheesh, just got back from having a particularly nasty "number two", gonna have clagnuts for sure.

by woodpidgeon September 19, 2003

Clagnuts

Small lumps of shit that stick to your arse pubes.

I nearly tore myself a new one trying to get those clagnuts off my arse

by sNoWy1998 July 23, 2008

Clag Nuts

Crusty shit pellets stuck to ass hair

Dave: Bloody hell my ass is itchy today.
Bobby: It will be the Clag Nuts you scruffy bastard

by Greg_the_Smeg February 7, 2019

Clagnutella

Clagnutella is smooth soft clagnut much like the spreadable treat. Clagnut is hard, crusty faecal matter in the form of pellet/balls stuck to the pubic hair of the anus. Clagnutella is much easier to remove as it isn't as viscous and superglued to the anal pubic hair as Clagnut.

Guy: Hey girl, would you like anal today?
Girl: Sorry, I've got Clagnutella
Guy: At least its not Clagnut, we can just wash it off!

by smoak June 30, 2014

clagnut

A small faecal / pubic encrusted pellet. May cause excessive ding-ratching and give the impression that you've scruffed your bracks.

It was a most stubborn clagnut that resulted in crayoning Brian's underpants with a distinctive earthy hew.

by Snoutman January 9, 2004

clegnuts

when pubic hairs get mattered up with poo they look like poonuts.

tara hadnt wiped her bum properly, so she had recieved clegnuts.

by tara whitchar. August 6, 2008

clag nuts

Those little bits of desicated poo that cling to the hairs around the bum hole after a lack lustre wiping.

Hey Barri, how was your date last night?
Well we had a great meal, the movie was top, we went back to mine and he was just going down on me when he spotted some clag nuts. How I wish I'd used the bidet!

by MisterE July 16, 2008