Captain Douche Bag!

He is the founding last super hero of our time! He plays golf with freckled kids! He likes to Break Bread and go Water Fishing! His powers are dance to Techno music with hot chicks! He then Cleans his fridge with Fabric softner and yells at crocidiles because they have too much teeth and never see the dentist!

Little Boy: oh my god some buddy kill me!

Captain Douche Bag: how about no dumass! maybe you should be happy fuck face!

Little Boy: why captain douche bag no one likes me!

Captain Douche Bag: cause your a pussy!

Little Boy: im really sorry sir! i promise to stop wetting the bed!

Captain Douche Bag: good now go protect the planet from Beastiality Porn!!!

THEME SONG!

Captain Douche Bag is a fucking guy with a mask!
He'll eat the rest of the Steak Sauce!
Then he will cry you nothing cause you suck!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!

Captain Douche Bag is a fucking guy with a cape!
He'll do back flips on chicken tenders from Hot'n Now!
Then he will pee on your bed blaming it on you!!!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!

Kids: We love Captain Douche Bag!! YAY!!!!!!

Captain Douche Bag is a fucking hero with Attitude!!!
He'll race you to the Laundry Mat!! And wash his clothes!
Then he will burn the Kmart store down! cause it sucks!!!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!

Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!
Watch out its Captain Douche Bag!

Captain Douche Bag! by james franks the 3rd October 31, 2005

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Captain Douchebag

An assclown that generally speaks as if they know what they are talking about however has no fucking clue. Different than just the plain assclown by their pure consistancy has earned a rank of captain, yet are not quite the level of an admiral, which requires a lifelong dedication to being a douchebag.

Can also be identified by their need to tell long winded retarded stories about their friends who are also douchebags of lower rank with lame nick-names consisting of the names "bone" and "dawg."

Shit lets go, here comes captain douchebag again.

Captain Douchebag by DrSmooth June 22, 2005

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captain douchebag

The biggest douchebag in the history of time. A person who exemplifies all that it means to be a douche.

Zach Pannenton is captain douchebag
those who don't even know his name simply know him as the captain.

captain douchebag by ShooToKill August 13, 2006

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Eternity leave

When some resigns or retires from a job, they are on "eternity leave". This can also refer to someone who has passed away, especially someone who worked somewhere for a long time, retired/resigned, then passed away later.

Oh I'm sorry, you didn't know that Kelly is on eternity leave? She resigned and moved to Hawaii!

With regrets I would like to inform you that my boss is officially on eternity leave. I will never see or hear them again. Ever.

Eternity leave by LingDanc803 February 7, 2023

Word of the Day on July 23, 2026

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jody

The hypothetical man (often a sinister character who decided not to go to boot camp) that is doing your girlfriend/wife while you are on deployment overseas.

Ain't no use in goin home,
Jody's got your girl and gone.
Ain't no use in goin back,
Jody's got your Cadillac,
Ain't no use in feeling blue,
Jody's took your checkbook too.

jody by Sgt Apan March 31, 2006

Word of the Day on July 22, 2026

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girl grip

The ability girls and women have developed to hold several items at once in one hand. The skill has been developed due to the lack of pockets in women's clothing.

I thought she'd need multiple trips to carry her phone, keys, wallet, and Starbucks to her car since she needed the other hand to open the door, but she used her impressive girl grip to carry everything in one hand.

girl grip by SillyMilly33 July 31, 2023

Word of the Day on July 21, 2026

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Condiment home

A term that refers to one persons household hold nothing but ingredients and condiments in the kitchen area

Person A: Hey dude you got some snacks?
Person B: Nah, i live in a fucking condiment home...

Condiment home by Nooneinparticularcapiche? July 18, 2026

Word of the Day on July 20, 2026

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