Fresh out of Petworld on route nine
Feelin fine, like chasin toys
You got dangling from twine

Yo, hoe, was wrong with liking to shed
Ill fucking rub my hair
all over your bed
What you gonna do about it cry
Did I give you a runny nose
and itchy eye

Yo I got nine lives and im spending them fast, not dying’
And wiff the lifestyle im living
I surely aint cryin

A scratching post id like the most don’t mean to boast
YO feline represent from
east to west coast
Das right HOE im a beast
Sitting here on this velvet pillow eatin fancy feast

Im a rapping cat, das right
I lie on my ass all day
And prowl at night
YO bitch!, female dog that is
You stuck in the pound GEE that aint where I is

If you try to mess ill hiss in your face
Don’t you understand you a human disgrace

Yo woman! Clean my litter box
its full of shit
By becoming my master you signed
up for it
So shopping for my food
and not for your kids
Bring home my meow mix dinner and
Open up the lids

Aint yo never give me a bath if the temp aint right
Or ill mess up yo face
wiff my claws and bite

Tails are swayin as we are playin
If you don’t want me to scratch you, you bess be prayin
Aint you know it, I got groomin at FOE
Got to keep my shiny cat looking bling FO SHO

YO when I sad you pet me
When I sick you vet me
When I lost, you get me

Because yo yo nigga my womans in heat
Gonna make sweet love behind a
dumpster in the street
But I aint no alley cat, how bout dat
I aint living in no hood
My crib is nice and my master is good

Why aint you be purchasing my tidy cat
My litter box is overflowing
you stupid brat
Yo I hope you buying what im supplyin
You aint messin im guessin cuz youd be cryin

YO id stay away from asian
people any day
If I hung around for too long
id become an entrée
Im nocturnal, in the world
of cats im a lieutenant colonel
High up in the ranks
Meowing
Hissing,
Banging skanks


And I Aint no lion
But Im not cryin
Like sambas dad
Fallin off cliffs and dyin

De-Clawed and Spayed
Revenge must be paid
Im a pissed hardcore gangsta
Wiff kittens that could have been made

Uh oh bitch my nails getting sharp, better do what I do most
Gonna use your leather couch as a scratching post.
I drink a shit load of
milk day and night NO JOKE
Cuz I aint lactose intolerant
like some you folk

Vigorous lappin and crappin
While you standing their clappin
Oh cat lady nucka, give us some space
Cant you clearly see that we own this place.

This place smells like feces,
and has the stench of my piss
Aint havin cats around such a bliss
Heithcliff, felix, and the famous Garfield
When we enter yo kitchen,
food is what you betta yield

Sandpaper tounge, pink butthole
DAS RIGHT
Since im such a sexy beast
I get action all night

I kills birds all day fo you,
aint you proud?
I left it on your doorstep,
and I meow real loud.
But das beside the point slut, give me my food
Don’t talk to me like im a baby,
that fucking rude

so all in all im through, that’s been my rap
now I gotta go to my litter box and take a crap

peace out nuckas.







Fresh out of Petworld on route nine
Feelin fine, like chasin toys
You got dangling from twine

Yo, hoe, was wrong with liking to shed
Ill fucking rub my hair all over your bed
What you gonna do about it cry
Did I give you a runny nose and itchy eye

Yo I got nine lives and im spending them fast, not dying’
And wiff the lifestyle im living I surely aint cryin

A scratching post id like the most don’t mean to boast
YO feline represent from east to west coast
Das right HOE im a beast
Sitting here on this velvet pillow eatin fancy feast

Im a rapping cat, das right
I lie on my ass all day
And prowl at night
YO bitch!, female dog that is
You stuck in the pound GEE that aint where I is

If you try to mess ill hiss in your face
Don’t you understand you a human disgrace

Yo woman! Clean my litter box its full of shit
By becoming my master you signed up for it
So shopping for my food and not for your kids
Bring home my meow mix dinner and
Open up the lids

Aint yo never give me a bath if the temp aint right
Or ill mess up yo face wiff my claws and bite

Tails are swayin as we are playin
If you don’t want me to scratch you, you bess be prayin
Aint you know it, I got groomin at FOE
Got to keep my shiny cat looking bling FO SHO

YO when I sad you pet me
When I sick you vet me
When I lost, you get me

Because yo yo nigga my womans in heat
Gonna make sweet love behind a dumpster in the street
But I aint no alley cat, how bout dat
I aint living in no hood
My crib is nice and my master is good

Why aint you be purchasing my tidy cat
My litter box is overflowing you stupid brat
Yo I hope you buying what im supplyin
You aint messin im guessin cuz youd be cryin

YO id stay away from asian people any day
If I hung around for too long id become an entrée
Im nocturnal, in the world of cats im a lieutenant colonel
High up in the ranks
Meowing
Hissing,
Banging skanks


And I Aint no lion
But Im not cryin
Like sambas dad
Fallin off cliffs and dyin

De-Clawed and Spayed
Revenge must be paid
Im a pissed hardcore gangsta
Wiff kittens that could have been made

Uh oh bitch my nails getting sharp, better do what I do most
Gonna use your leather
couch as a scratching post.
I drink a shit load of milk day and night NO JOKE
Cuz I aint lactose intolerant
like some you folk

Vigorous lappin and crappin
While you standing their clappin
Oh cat lady nucka, give us some space
Cant you clearly see that we own this place.

This place smells like feces,
and has the stench of my piss
Aint havin cats around such a bliss
Heithcliff, felix, and the famous Garfield
When we enter yo kitchen, food
is what you betta yield

Sandpaper tounge,
pink butthole DAS RIGHT
Since im such a sexy beast
I get action all night

I kills birds all day fo you,
aint you proud?
I left it on your doorstep,
and I meow real loud.
But das beside the point slut,
give me my food
Don’t talk to me like im a baby,
that fucking rude

so all in all im through,
that’s been my rap
now I gotta go to my litter box and take a crap

peace out nuckas.
not only the sickest rap song ever, but the sickest rap song ever about cats.
by Michael Boyle March 16, 2005
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