Buttering the cat 

This term began to appear after the December 2021 viral Reddit post "AITA for “perpetuating ethnic stereotypes” about Jorts?" on r/AmITheAsshole by u/ThrowawayOrangeCat about a conflict involving two cats at their workplace. The cats are named Jean and Jorts, and to cut a long story short, a human colleague named Pam had been spreading margarine on Jorts to encourage him to groom himself. (Presumably he would like the taste and spend more time licking it off.) It's unclear whether Jorts responded to this, because Jean began to lick his fur -- this upset her digestive system. Pam was asked to stop applying margarine to Jorts. Readers shared the post to social media, and people began posting memes and jokes about the situation.

Later that month, #DisabilityTwitter used the situation as an analogy, to address whether a particular accommodation is useful. (Implied: even if it's well-intentioned, if it's not helpful to the person with needs, it wastes time and may actually have negative impacts. Just like applying margarine to Jorts.)

"Are you helping, or are you just buttering the cat?" (from #DisabilityTwitter)

A person may want to help resolve a difficult situation, but realizes that they lack the necessary skills and would just make things worse: "I'd love to help, but at this point I suspect I'd just be buttering the cat ..."

Buttering the cat by TapirTrouble December 21, 2021

Buttering the Cat 

In the disability rights community: attempting to help someone without asking if they need help, or in a way that is not actually helpful (and indeed may be harmful to the disabled person or to others).

Comes from a viral Twitter thread featuring Jorts the orange cat who was having trouble grooming himself. A well meaning but clueless human buttered Jorts in an attempt to teach him how to groom himself. This may or may not have resulted in a different cat being sick from licking the butter off of Jorts.

"Hey, don't just grab my chair; that's buttering the cat!"

"Stop buttering the cat, tonight's homework is easy!"

Buttering the Cat by philhellenike December 22, 2021

buttering the cat 

When an ableist tries so hard to help but instead just makes people sick.

She didn't need your help, man, you're just buttering the cat!

buttering the cat by Bay Grrl December 22, 2021