business major 

A member of a degenerate subspecies of humans (Latin name homo sapiens nequequam) that bears a marked visual similarity to ordinary homo sapiens. The homo sapiens nequequam can be distinguished by the following behaviors:

* Whining at the end of the semester to their professors to give them a higher letter grade in a class they failed even though they don't understand the material because "they'll never need to know it anyway."
* Exhibiting a complete lack of creative, artistic, scientific, or mathematical capacity, as well as any desire to exert themselves intellectually.
* Having no long term goals in life other than spawning more ignorant brats, playing golf, watching football, and making lots of money, and generally succeeding at all but the last.
* Prioritizing their school life as follows:
1. Getting Drunk
2. Fucking
3. Making Money
4. Staying Skinny/Buff
5. Spending Daddy's money
6. Driving Daddy's car
7. Studying
* Insisting that their major really is as hard as all the others, thereby exhibiting a lack of appreciation for true academic progress reminiscent of a denizen of Plato's cave.
* Voting Republican.

HS guidance counsellor: So, what do you want to study in college?

Moron: I dunno.

Counsellor: Well, what are you interested in doing with your life?

Moron: Banging hot chicks and raking in the cash.

Consellor: How do you plan to achieve that?

Moron: Ima be a CEO.

Consellor: ...

Moron: Yeh dad sez I can be a business major just like him and then Ill have it made.

Consellor: *facepalm*

business major by mathnazi May 12, 2010

business major 

Someone who ought to not be attending college. These people are generally completely clueless as to what they want to do with themselves but are too stupid to study a real subject and so major in business thinking that it will somehow lead to money. Sadly what these sad individuals tend to not realize is that they're a dime a dozen and should be counting their blessings if they manage to get a job that doesn't involve the phrase "would you like fries with that?"

"That guy we just passed had business major written all over him."

"A real loser huh?"

business major by Made Fiend August 20, 2007

Business Major 

Students whom couldn't handle a real academic path, and are now Excel jockies. They yell "BOOM!" in your residence halls while others with actual degrees (IE: Electrical Engineering) are progressing themselves academically via homework and studying.

Resident 1: That kid is always roaming the halls yelling "BOOM!" and smashing his face into walls.

Resident 2: That would be a classic symptom of being a "Business Major."

Business Major by hexwolf December 29, 2007

business major 

A wage slave. A person with developmental delay who has never watched the film Officespace. Inferior to the liberal arts and STEM. A set of degrees so terrible that they make a philosophy degree seem more reasonable by comparison.

Usually this field is a 8 week office course in a trade school, but unlike it's counterpart, there are no connections unless in the Ivy Leagues making it impossible to get an entry level job.

If one is taking this degree and is one of the students that have no clue what they are doing in life, consider convincing the student to stay far away from this degree as possible. Remind them to drop out and go to a 2 year CC while admissions are open to get him/her to major in the right field.

"Why is he eating the bugs now? Where is his soy latte?"

"My business major is more practical than an art degree and I am going to get my CPA. Look at these famous investment bankers and rich people, they all major in business fields like econ and business. You see these are the Js that control the world."

"Investment bankers make jack compared to the oil tycoon, and real majors that provide for the economy. Those degrees you mentioned are held by boomer bosses who will never retire. Think about how many people sacrifice their time to do long labs in real fields. While you dudebros can't live in the real world."

"NOOOO I THOUGHT I WOULD MAKE MONEY!!!"

Bangs head on the wall.

business major by billy4truth July 8, 2021