A male sexorgan afflicted with a sexually transmitted disease
Rebecca decided to herpes fuck John. He had a gross blister shaft, but he was really hot. She made him wear a condom so she figured she would be safe.
Two days later her pubic hair started itching. She didn't get the herp, but she crabs.
An imfamous serial killer, targeting Bristol (UK). Their method involves pushing drunken men and women into canals, and watching them drown.
Several people have claimed to know who the killer is on Twitch and YouTube.
The Bristol Pusher has struck again. Duncan Jones found dead beneath his flat, after traveling home with a sinister, slender man in polo-neck and glasses.
It’s when you analyze your shit from A to Z and you realize that it contains different matter states with all the different Bristol stool chart numbers. There should be 7 different states of fecal matter in the toilet, going from liquid and watery to very solid and concentrated.
Usually, what happens is that you ate in a Chinese Buffet the day before you take the dump. There are so many varieties of food in these places that your body sorts them in terms of solidness, going from the egg roll sauce to the chinese onion rings’ crust.
If this ever happens to you, go see a doctor immediately. The Bristol Rainbow a very rare case, but when it’s there, it stays for a long time.
Rod : Doctor, about the sample of crap you asked me to give you last week...
Doctor O’Brien : Yes?
Rod : Well, which part do you want the most? There’s the liquid part, the soft part, the solid p...
Doctor O’Brien : Oh my God... Rod, you did a Bristol Rainbow ! Congratulations!
Rod : So, this is a good thing?
Doctor O’Brien : Actually, I was being sarcastic. Be prepared to pay the price for your prescription...
When an awkward turtle is insufficient for the awkwardity of the situation, one must "evolve" their awkward turtle into the Awkward Blastoise. This hand configuration uses the pointer and pinky finger of the top hand as Hydro Pumps to douse the situation.
While visiting his girlfriend's parents, Rob farted at the dinner table very loudly. The mom implemented the awkward turtle, but was immediately over-ruled by the dad's more appropriate use of the Awkward Blastoise in order to sufficiently encompass the awkwardity of the situation.
90% populated by white boys who wish they were in gangs and twig girls who think theyve got asses. 50% populated by "bisexuals" who go call others faggots and cunt lesbos. Every shop is a different stereotype and theres no such thing as a real friend. Everyone is a snake.
Originally a nautical term, Bristol Fashion means "conforming to the highest standards of seamanship." A boat that is maintained in absolutely perfect condition can be described as "shipshape & Bristol Fashion."
The term is frequently applied outside the boating world, however. A cooler stocked with ice cold beers, an old truck that's been tuned to run just right, a steak cooked perfectly, or an immaculate lawn could all be described as being in Bristol Fashion.
"Have you seen Old Man Nelson's lawn? That guy keeps his yard in Bristol Fashion."